giving

“You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” 
― Amy Carmichael

How was your Christmas?! Did you get any good presents?! Did you give any good presents?! Were you one of those who get tired of making the huge line till the last minute?! Everyone has their story, right? But when you see the smile on that person, it makes you so happy. It makes you glad that you took that time to think about that person, and was able to give. Don't you think!? Especially kids. When I see the smile on their face when they open those wrapped gifts, that makes me just smile. 

"It's more blessed to give than to receive". (Acts 20:35)

In life, we tend to seek what we can get, instead of what we can give. You can see that a lot on networking events. you meet people, talk to people. hear them talk to see what you can get from that people. you don't go into those events thinking, or rather excited about, "what can I offer those people that I'm going to meet!!!". I don't think a lot of people go in to those with that mentality. Life is more simple than that. When we are nice to people, they want to do something nice to you! At the same time, when we are NOT nice to others, they will not be nice to you. Or they will be REALLY nice to you to make you feel horrible. 

Life is so much better when you can give. At least I think so.You cannot let others take advantage of you. That's a different story. But when you genuinely care about others, you would just want to do something for them. Parents want what's best for their kids, just because they love their kids. You want to give the best presents ever for your best friend just because you love your friend. You just wanna give hug to your friend, because you just love them. We don't have to look for anything in return. We are the being of love. So, that already should make you want to give. And being able to give, that's a privilege and a blessing. I want to be blessing for others, even for a second in their life. If my smile or hug make someone's life a little bit better, that's amazing! It doesn't have to be anything monetary or material. It's your love and your time. And God has done this for us long before we were even born, isn't that amazing?! 

No matter what I do, I'd always want to be able to give smile and warm hug to someone even if I were dead broke. Smile is contagious, right?! 

Love, Hope, Faith....

You VS you

“Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” 

― Les Brown

Something, that I've been wondering.... Why do we start caring about what other people say? And when do we start caring about what other people think of us? How did that happen? Why do we care about that so much? The things that makes us unique,  that makes us different from others, aren't those the exact thing that we should be embracing? Why do we have to fit in the category? why do we have to fit the certain type? Why do we think who we are is not good enough? Why? And how did this all start? 

I grew up in a place that being different was not exactly a good thing. Try to fit in more. Try not to stand out so much. Be good. Be modest. Be nice... I got picked on more often than enough. Of course I knew I was different. I tried so hard to fit in. There was one incident that I clearly remember. It was in the middle school, right after I had a hair cut, some girls told me that I was copying this one girl's hairstyle and that was not cool. See, being different was not accepted. But being exactly the same as someone else was also not accepted. I knew I was different. And that got me think that I wasn't good enough. I didn't know how to embrace myself. 

“Your lucky enough to be different, never change”-Tyler Swift

I love this quote. I truly believe that it's true. We are all made differently for the specific purpose that God has intended. Imagine if He had the same purpose for everyone and everyone is exactly as same as the others? Nothing will ever get done. That's just catastrophe. We are all created for different purposes and that's exactly why we are all different. You don't have her eye color, so what. You are not as tall or short as that person, so what? Your skin color is different from that person, so what? You  don't think you are as good looking as that person? No. You are beautiful and handsome just the way you are. God did not make any mistake when he created you. Trying to "make it" in entertainment business had made me see so many things, especially since I moved to NYC. What types, and where you fit, what roles you can go for, this and that and that. You are not tall enough. You are not short enough. You are not blonde enough. You are not Asian enough. You are not this and that and that.... they constantly judge you. It's constant rejection after rejection. You have to be tough. What they are saying no to is not who you are. You are providing the product that you can provide them. So, if that product is not what they are looking for, MOVE ON. just as simple as that. Of course everything is easier said than done. It's not easy to separate yourself as a product from you, yourself as a person and not take it personally. Anyways. I was so caught up in the many many ideas and stereotypes of how people should look and how people should act. Then He has been telling me that just let go. I am different because He wants me to be different. He wants you to be different. He trusted you to do only what you can do. You don't have to look like certain someone. You don't have to fit the image of other people. You don't have to worry about what other people think about you. Guess what?! The only thing that you need to worry about is fulfilling what He wants you to do. And how much better you can be from where are you now. You don't have to compete with other people. Your only competition is you. Be better than who you are today. Be better than who you were yesterday. Because that's what matters. Remember, you are different for reasons. And there's no mistake about it. You are special. You are wonderful. Be you. Be authentic you. 

Love, Hope, Faith

start from inside

“Have you notices that when we die, our eulogies celebrate our lives very differently from the way society defines success?” 

― Arianna Huffington

I finally started to read "Thrive" by Arianna Huffington. I've been meaning to read it for a while. I'm in page 90, and already loving it. Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO and the author of "Lean In" says 

“I hope you find true meaning, contentment, and passion in your life. I hope you navigate the difficult times and come out with greater strength and resolve. I hope you find whatever balance you seek with your eyes wide open. And I hope that you - yes, you - have the ambition to lean in to your career and run the world. Because the world needs you to change it.” 

I love how these women talks about how important to live their life, not only as a powerful and influential person in this society, but as a human beings. They've worked their way up, way way up. Yet, what they've realized is that we need to take care of ourselves in a most fundamental level. Sleep well, eat well, disconnect from your electric devices more,  exercises more, meditate more... Our definition of success should not be defined by monetary or social statues. That should not define how successful someone is. It is the easiest way to major it perhaps. Like Arianna Huffington says, that's not something our eulogies says, right? It is not our resume, our portfolio, or any social medias can tell you. Life is not merely meant to be survived, it is meant to be lived, and fulfilled. 

Life is love. Life is giving. Life is about how much love you can give. That's what I believe. You don't have to be a millionaire to give something. You can give a smile, a hug, or a compliment.  It doesn't have to be something physical. When you can give something to someone, you should. Anything that has physical form are meant to break sooner or later. So, why hold on to it? Matthew 6:19 says "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal". I think that our generations have made things more complicated that it should be. Everything seems more complicated. Social media, social expectation, relationships, family relationships... Why do we do that to ourselves?! Am I being naive to think that life is meant to be lived happy and filled with love? Maybe I am. but I'd rather be naive and stupid than surviving a false life.  We need to realize that what we need to focus on in our life is more fundamental and simple. Our life is meant to be lived, not merely to be survived. Let's go back to basics. Have a nice family dinner, without being interrupted by your cellphone. Have a cup of coffee with your friends. Have a time to read a book. Disconnect yourself from the technology. Meditate for 5 minutes. Whatever it is that helps you to be you. You are not what society want you to be. You are not what others expect you to be. You are you, who you are created to be, and who you are going to be. And the source all that is just pure love. 

No matter what I do, or what kinda situation I'm in, I'm gonna make the best of it. If I can't change the situation, I will change my attitude and be happy. Nobody is perfect and nobody's life is perfect. And we ll struggle in our own way. And that's how it is. It's just as simple as that. I believe that Happy people can find love in anything, anywhere and anybody. If you can't control, what's happening outside, let's change what's inside. Inward. I loved how she said in the book, "We don't have to "do" meditation; meditation "does" us. ". So, why not start from inside? 

Love, Hope, Faith, 

Be Joyful ALWAYS, ALWAYS

Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.

-unknown-

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.(1 Thessalonians 5;16-18) Whatever situations you are in, you are still blessed. It might be hard to see it, but you are blessed. We are all blessed than we can possibly imagine. We are more blessed than we are aware of. We are more blessed than we give God credits for.... We love to complain, don't we?! We love to tell people how tough our life is, ow much struggles you are going through... so on and so on. Our life is so much better than you can think. 

Again, similar to the last post. When you start/decide to see things differently, you will see how blessed you are. It's always easy to complain, and not to be grateful. We know that we can't really control the situations,  can we?! Whatever it is that we are facing, those are there for some reasons. We are meant to learn from it. It could be a reminder for something or someone who you should't be. When someone can't treat you right, remind yourself that you wouldn't be like that. And be glad that you are not like that person. When tough situation seems to fall upon you, instead of thinking that it's the end of it, be excited for what's about to happen when you overcome from this struggle. Those struggles are there for you because you are being tested, because you have worked your way up to go to the next level, because you have been doing something right. As always, it is easier said than done. Being able to have gratitude in the midst of all the struggle takes strength and faith. And that's exactly what you need. If you don't think you have enough strength or faith, shift your focus to God. Because His strength, His faithfulness is more than enough. He will fight your battle when you cannot fight. He will lift you up, when you think you no longer can. And be grateful that He is there for you no matter what. That's how much He loves you, and even more. 

We get blinded by so many things. Things that actually doesn't matter. Things that shouldn't matter. Let go of the worries, let go of the fear, let go of the grudge that's holding you back, let go of the pain, let go of the ego... Let them go. It's just getting in your way to be who you truly are. You are better than that. You don't have to get the approval from anyone. You don't have to fit in. You don't have to impress people. You don't have to look certain way. You don't have to hold on to the pain. You don't have to do that. Take a deep breath. Where there's darkness, there's always light. You can't go in to dark room and not see the light. Even in that darkness, eventually your eyes will get used to it, and start seeing the light. The light wins always. Everything has at least two side of the story, light side and the dark side, positive side, and negative side, heavy side and the light side. Which one would you choose?! You have a power to choose. Don't let your ego, your worries, your pains,,, don't let those negative elements decide how you will be, or who you will become. Don't listen to them. We all have that power to choose. When you get stuck, take a moment and realize that you have that choice to not let it get to you. Try to see it from the bigger picture. Try to listen to what God is telling you. And choose to be positive. Choose to be joyful. Choose to be grateful. Just because we can. 

Love, Hope, Faith...

Be happy with where you are

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. 

I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. 

I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. 

I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. 

I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” 

Audrey Hepburn

How much do you love your life?! a little? a lot? or not at all? or all of it? Are you close to where you pictured yourself would be? Are you doing what you love? Are you smiling everyday? Are you laughing every possible opportunity? Are you telling someone you love them? Are you enjoying your life? Are you having fun being who you are? Are you happy that you are here? 

The winter in NY can be rough. It's cold, windy, and it's just tough, not like California(Don't get me wrong, I love California). The kids show I used to watch long time ago had a really good song. "When things are tough, that's the chance to grow and the chance to learn something new". A little old bird in the show would sing to the kids whenever they had problems. Pretty amazing song for a kids show, don't you think?! So, whenever things got tough, or whenever I had a rough time, my mom sang that to me. Walking down the street of NY today, and it made me realize how much I love this city. It's the city that I've always wanted to live. And I get to live here and do what I love. I am not where I want to be, or where I pictured myself would be long time ago, not even close to that. But our God is amazing, isn't he? He blessed me tremendously in a way that I don't even deserve. I love this city. Whenever I go back to Japan to see my family, it makes me want to go back. I get homesick sometimes. I do want to provide for my family, or at least I'd want to be ready whenever or if they need me. I do think about things like this. But I just love this city. It gives me purpose, freedom, ambition, passion, love, hope and faith. It's not always like this. More often than not, there are times that I just want to pack up everything and call it a quit. There are times that I just want to disappear from the world. And there's nothing wrong with that. We are all humans. We are meant to struggle. Our life is not only about what we can get, it's about what we can give. We are to give and spread love. We are to be grateful for our happiness and joy and life. 

I love you God and I'm just so grateful for what you've given me and what you WILL give me. Thank you for this life, love, hope and faith. 

Mind the GAP

“If we never had the courage to take a leap of faith, 

we'd be cheating God out of a chance to mount us up with wings like eagles and watch us soar.” 
― Jen Stephens, The Heart's Journey Home -

Everybody has been told that your life is about taking a risk, right?! Staying in the comfort zone, won't help you grow, or make you better. There's always a gap between where you want to be and where you are now. And to get to where you want to go, you have to take the leap of faith. 

The other day at the church, we were given this message called "Mind the Gap" by Robert Fergusson. It was pretty incredible. So, we all have a gap in our life. Gap between where you want to go and where you are, between how faithful you are and how faithful you want to be, how much you want to have and how much you have... etc, etc.... And for us to get there, 

1) we have to be honest about the GAP.

2) we have to be hungry, desperate to fill the GAP.

3) we have to be humble enough to admit that we can't fill the GAP on our own. 

it was very interesting how he explained it. Remember the guy who got stuck in between the train and the station?! And how all the people got out and pushed the train to get him out? One person didn't mind the GAP and affected so many people, right?! We have to admit that there's a gap in between. And we have to be aware of that. We cannot pretend that there isn't. We can't pretend that everything is fine. We can't pretend that everything is perfect and we have everything we want when you are actually struggling to pay the bill. We have to be honest about the GAP. And just being honest about it isn't enough. We have to want to fill the gap. We have to be willing to do the work, willing to show up even in the midst of the struggle and take the chance. And then, we have to admit that we can't fill those gap on our own. Only God can do. He wants you to get to the other side. He wants to help us. But first, we have to be honest with where we are. He knows where you are. He knows what you want. He knows you where you should be. He knows all of that and beyond. So it's only natural to have faith in Him, isn't it?! 

1) Make a decision 

2) take a step

3) awaken who you ought to be

Let's take that leap of faith. We are already here, which means we deserve to be here, were are meant to be here. So, why not believe?! why not have faith?! If we don't take that leap of faith, we're going to keep wonder how things could have been, or would have been. So, let's take an action, even if you fail or make a mistake, at least you'll know. You'll learn what not to do, don't you think!? It might not even be something you actually want to do in a first place. God puts all those thoughts into you for a reason. Believe in Him. And you'll see how wonderful He made you to be. 

Love, Hope, Faith.

Be a person you want to be around

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” 
― Jane Goodall

Can I just tell how amazing my friends are. Not only they are talented, beautiful and kind. They are humble, caring and loving people. And I love them so much. Last night, I got to help their show backstage. They've worked so hard for this, and their level of commitment is just incredible. They are always eager to learn, work and become better. We look out for each other, since most of us doesn't have family in the city, we are our own family. Even though we are in the same business, and are own rivals of our own, we are happy for any success, and great news that come into any of us. 

"Life is not about gaining something, it is about giving what you have". 

I read that somewhere not so long ago. It was amazing. We get caught up in what we can get, from the job, from the situation, and from the people we meet everyday. But the reality is that God has given us everything we need. He's provided us with everything and anything we need to be who He wants us to be. So why do we need more?! We are anointed already, the problem is that we don't know that we are capable and we are anointed. We are too blind to see how blessed we are. God has given us so much that we don't deserve. So we have to be grateful for what we have, and the things that we don't have or things that we hate. God has already blessed us with everything. We have to appreciate those that we already have. My friends showed me that they are about giving and caring for others, not about what they can gain. 

When people treat you in an aweful way, you really don't want to be nice you that person, right? You want to be treated right. You want to treat others as you want others to treat you, right?! So, let's be nice to each other. Be grateful to each other. We don't know what other people's stories are. And we'll never know the whole story. So, treat each other with respect and love. When people treat me in a way that I don't deserve, it makes me feel horrible. It just does. That's not fair at all. Think how you'd act if people don't say simple "thank you" or "Please" or even "hi". How would that make you feel? Treat others like you want to be treated. And remember, this life is not about what you can get. It's about what you can offer to the world. Be the person you want to be around. You can't escape from yourself in a first place anyway, don't you agree?

Love, Hope, Faith...

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!!

Thank you God, for your blessing and your love.

Thank you my family, for your love and support.

Thank you my friends, for your love and friendship. 

Thank you for my health.

Thank you that I have a roof over my head.

Thank you that I have a job.

Thank you that I am following my dream.

Thank you that I have you.

Thank you that I can say thank you.

Thank you that I have food to eat.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you for everyone.

Thank you for anything. 

Thank you for the blessings in my life.

Thank you for the struggles for letting me grow.

Thank you for the heartache for making me strong.

Thank you for the laughter for making me rich.

Thank you for the smile for making me smile.

Thank you for the music for making me happy.

Thank you for the arts for inspiring me.

Thank you for the love, for loving me.

Thank you for creativity.

Thank you for inspiration.

Thank you. 

I might not know you now, but whoever you are and wherever you are, you are amazing and wonderful. I love you. It doesn't have to be thanksgiving to be grateful. Everyday is thanksgiving day! Spread love. Spread Hope. Spread faith. Tell people you love theme. Show them that you love them. Action speaks louder. 

Love, Hope, Faith

the definition of insanity is....

 

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” 
― Narcotics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous

Have you ever wonder why things are not working out for you!? You try so hard, work so hard, and yet no result has been shown. Or it seems like everybody else is getting the result which you could have made, or even better. You compare yourself to the others. You wish those were you. You just wish that things are different. You tell yourself that it wasn't just the right time for you. You congratulate them, tell them that you are happy for them, but deep down inside, you feel jealous and feeling incomplete. You feel like the world is going on, moving on to the next level, except for you. If anything the world is leaving you behind.... Have you ever felt that way?! I have. 

Last few days, my head has been overflowing with the endless thoughts. The thoughts that seems to give me no answer or specific ideas. It just goes on and on... The never-ending circle. This isn't how I pictured myself at this age. But what can you do!? You can't go back in time and redo everything, right? And that's not even a point. Once you are in that state, you are stuck. You are trying to "FIGURE IT OUT". And what does that even mean?! 

I moved to the new city to pursue my passion. It's been over a year. I might be impatient to expect results to come. And I know I shouldn't do this, but whenever some of my friends their breaks and great news on FB, it gives me this thoughts "What about me?!" "Maybe I'm not good enough." And I am happy for them. I know that they work hard to get there, they have their struggles and I love them all. Then why can't I just be happy for them and not think about myself, or compare myself with them? And it came down to the point, "is this really what I want for my life?!" "Do I want this because I really want it, or because they have it?".  Then, I realize that I was doing the same thing, getting on the whole cycle again. 

I wasn't showing up for my life. 

It seems hard to show up when you don't know what you are doing, or what you want to do. Because you don't really know what to do, you know? But if you keep doing the same thing and expect the results to be different, do you think that's even possible?!  You have to change something to get a different result or even to see some different aspect in your life. There are many things that you haven't try. If anything, there are less thing you've tried than you haven't tried. Have you asked help for anybody?! Have you try different approach?! Have you looked at things from the different perspective?! You might not think that way, but you are capable of making those choices. And when you do make that choice, and it doesn't work, you just find out another way "NOT TO" do it. You are not in charge of the result you get, but you are in charge of the action you take. You have to be bold enough to make those changes. You have to be bold enough to ask for the result you want. You have to be bold enough to speak up what you want. You need to send out what you want to the Universe. God has a greater plan for you, more than you can possibly imagine. 

I don't write anything productive or profound. whatever it is that I'm struggling with, or facing, I know a lot of you are going through too. It's not easy. But when you do your part, it will be worth it. And I tell that to myself all the time. Life is meant to be lived, not merely to be survived. Everybody is here with their own mission. And it is up to you to fulfill that mission. You are anointed to do so. You are equipped to do what you are meant to do. Find those seeds and nourish it. You are able. We are able. And you are not alone. 

Love, Hope and Faith

everyone's got issues.

Will you choose to expose your issues or let the issues expose you?!

It is a big question. Have you asked yourself that question lately, or ever? More often than not, we mask ourselves so well that we don't even remember that we are wearing it. We get used to the title, the social status, the value, and whatever it is that makes us look more valuable than others, or it makes us look more strong. And the truth is that the longer and the stronger we hold on to the mask, the more difficult it gets to face those reality, the fear, the issues that we are avoiding. But the life has already given us those issues, right? So what are we gonna do about it?! 

Face it. and don't hide it. 

That's the only way. We are gonna have to face it and deal with it sooner or later, why not now?!It's not easy to admit and surrender to the unknown. It never is easy. And as we grow older, we learn how to mask ourselves better and better. We also learn how to justify ourselves for not facing it. We learn to how to make excuses. We learn how to escape from those basically. Think about it, wasn't things easier when you were a kid?! when you didn't know something, you asked. When you didn't like something, you said you don't like it. When you liked something or want something, you said so. So when did we start hiding from the reality?! Most of us don't even know how we come to do any of this. The society, the culture the family, the things we are surrounded formed the illusion of what or how people should be. Like a boy does't cry. A women shouldn't get promoted above man. Or you have to go to a good school to get a good job. Or this is the definition of beauty! or anything. Those things have brainwashed you unconsciously. 

Nowadays, more and more people are aware of things that we were not before, I feel like. People talk about Meditation, Mindfulness and higher self, and all sorts of things. Either you are religious or not. Or if you have a certain belief or not, I don't care. all I'm saying is that YOU ARE ENOUGH. and whatever issues maybe that you have, those are a part of who you are. But not a part of who you can be. If it's an issue you want to overcome, work on it. If it's an issue that you can't do anything about it,  like an allegy or your height, get over it and move on. But don't be ashamed of who you are or try to hide that you don't have any issues. Everyone has issues. Seriously. Nobody is perfect. You think the wealthiest person on the earth has no worries whatsoever?! I'm pretty sure that he/she has one or two. The more you look away from it, the bigger the issue becomes. You are who you are and you are enough. You are talented, you are beautiful, you are smart. I don't know you but I love you. Don't be afraid to be who you are and who you can be. Don't let those bumps hold you back. Because in the long run, you'll be laughing at those little things and see how far you've come. Seriously, even right now. look how far you've come. You might not be where you want to be, but you are not where you could have been. You are worth it. 

Love, Hope, and Faith. 

don't be afraid to change

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. 

Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. 

Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Lao Tzu

Change doesn't always come easy, to anyone. Change happens because there are things that you need to learn. We lay down the options. One seems easier than the there. One seems more complicated than the other. One looks more fun than the other. One seems to take longer then the others. One seem to be more rewarding than the other... See through how they look like. Are you scared to try something new because you are afraid of failing? afraid of how other people will see you? afraid of getting out of comfort zone? afraid of uncertain future? 

Stability gives you comfort. And comfort brings you contentment. Contentment can deceive you, make you feel like you are happy. But being content and being happy are two different thing. You cannot settle on being content. Belonging can makes you feel comfortable. It makes you feel like you are a part of something. But are you truly being yourself? are you pretending to be someone else to belong there? Are you afraid of being alone? You can't hide yourself to belong somewhere. You don't have to belong anywhere. You are you. 

I started thinking a lot about my life lately. I know that thinking too much won't give me any answers or show me the path. But it feels like that I have to think, lay down the options, and plan logically. Yes, even if I were to plan my "PERFECT" life, it won't happen as I plan anyway. God has a better plan. It's hard to keep your faith strong, when you are not seeing what's happening. When we're young, we used to dream how our life would be. Have a perfect job, get a perfect car, buy a perfect house, get marry, have kids, live happily ever after. And looking at my life right now and it's nothing like I imagined. "It wasn't suppose to be like this". I didn't imagine my life to be like this. Maybe I rebelled. Maybe my plan was wrong. Maybe I didn't know anything to begin with. Maybe I just made a wrong turn or two, or hundreds.... I feel a lot more immature, irresponsible, and incapable than I dreamed I'd be. Am I happy? most of the time. Am I doing what I want to do? most of the time. do I love myself? more than before. Do I know what I want in my life? not all the time.... But there are so many things I learned, because I took this path. There are many people I met because I took this path. These were the path I needed to take to be who God wants me to be. There are still a lot more for me to learn. Things change, I change, the world changes. Just because one door closes on you, it doesn't mean that you wasted your time. It means that GOD wants you to open the other door. 

"Don't be afraid to change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something better."

-unknown

Don't be afraid to change. It's there because it'll bring you something better. Because there's something for you to learn. Because you are meant to make that change. 

Love, Hope, Faith...

part of our journey

“I think....you still have no idea. The effect you can have.” 

― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

Do you like taking "Selfie"? That word has become a phenomena nowadays. And it is a word of 2013. "Selfie" wasn't  even a word before. Self portrait image. That's what it was. You've seen all the pictures on Facebook, instgram, so on and so on. There're apps, and all sort of gadgets to help you take better pictures of yourself. What does that tell you?! Why do you like taking it?! Why don't you like taking it? Why is it that people say it's an addiction? A lot of people says it has a lot to do with social media addiction. That sounds about right. Personally, I don't like taking selfies. I just don't get it. When friends or family get together, we take pictures together. That's about it. Does it have to do with my own self-image?! that popped up in my head the other day. 

Growing up, I wasn't a very confident person. I mean, when you are teenager, who is?! You can be very good at portraying that person with strong confidence. But that doesn't mean that you are. When you are teenager, you don't really know who you are or what you do, what you want to do. We are all struggling to find those things. And yet it is a crucial time for the people of young age to gain confidence. the balance is delicate and can affect you for the rest of your life. If you were raised in circumstances where people constantly beat you down, either mentally or physically, you are most likely to think yourself not as valuable as other are. Or that you are worthless. When you are that age, you want to belong, you want others to think that you are cool, you are beautiful, you are smart.. you worry so much about what others think of you. But do you think about what YOU think of yourself? I don't think we care that part enough. We get caught up other people's opinion and don't consider what we really need to be doing, which is to love ourselves. 

It's hard, isn't it. I used to think to love yourself is the same as being narcissist. You look at yourself in the mirror all the time. You think you are better than anyone else. You think you are all that.... The truth is that to love yourself has nothing to do with being narcissist. To love yourself means to accept and embrace who you are and who you will be. And your beauty comes from inside, not from outside. Yes, it's good to be beautiful outside. But that's perishable. but inner beauty doesn't . It's an extension of you. It doesn't mean that you don't have to care what you wear or how you look. You can't be everything. But you are the ONLY ONE. God created you to be who you are, so there's no mistakes. You have to find who you truly are and what you are meant to be. You are still not finish product. Don't judge what you are, how you are or where you are. Those are only temporary. Don't let those temporary things define who you are or what you can be. The possibility is limitless, as long as you are willing to go farther. Sure, you can't change your height or the color of your skin, or what your blood type is. It's just a part of it. You are much more than that. There are things you can do only because of your height, because of the color of your skin, because of your blood type. So be proud of who you are. Be happy with who you are and what you can become. And know that God loves you. If you think no one has ever loved you, trust GOD. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. A friend of mine told me something amazing. The reason that it doesn't seem like God hasn't answer your prayer is that because it's something you need to work on and you can accomplish by your work. It's something, right!? He doesn't answer all your prayer because he knows that you have that in you. Of course He does, because He made you. You have it in you. Loving yourself will help you see what's inside you. It will help you see what you can do. It will help you grown and make you strong. How can you love yourself when nobody else has, you ask. Then start by accepting yourself. Everybody has made mistakes. Everybody has their flaws. Everybody has ups and downs. Because we are all humans. And we learn from all of those. nobody is perfect. You don't have to be what others want you to be. Accept who you are, embrace who you are, enjoy being who you are. We all struggle to do that. Because we are all human. And that's part of our journey. Let's do it

Love, Hope and Faith

222

“Rather than turning the page, it's much easier to just throw the book away.” 
― Anthony Liccione -

This is blog #222. Since my birthday is 2/22, it feels kinda special. so let's celebrate our life! More than before. Everyday is a celebration!!!! What do you celebrate?! That's up to you! 

Every time I go back to my hometown, it gives me a whole new perspective towards life and for a while, it gives me headaches... This time around wasn't an exception. Of course, now that I'm older, time goes by a lot faster than I remember. And there're only about 50 days left till 2014 is over. How is that even possible?! Seriously. I just can't believe how fast it has been. 

Every person is different. Every life is different. And even though we are aware of that fact, we tend to compare ourself to others, don't we? We look at others, what type of job they are doing, are they married, do they have kids, do they have a house, how much money do they make... the list goes on and on. But who decides what values more than what? Is there any definition to any of this? Do we really value our happiness based on any of this? The only person who can decide, or even have a saying, in your life is YOU. I got to see my old friends. Most of them are married. Some of them have kids. Do they have a career? Yes. Most of them are actually working the job they've wanted since I've known them. And one of my friend told me something, I didn't expect to hear from ANYONE in Japan. Even though Japan is considered as a developed country, a lot of people are still old school and stuck only on what they know. But she said, "I love my job so much. There are days it gives me headache, but I know that's a challenge that helps me grow. And what I can learn from it, makes me stronger. If by any chance, I don't wake up tomorrow morning, I have no regret whatsoever".  Can you say the same about your life? Or do you know anyone who can say the same? And that's how we should live. It's not that she has an easy life. She's super busy with her work. She still manages to take more classes to build her knowledge and have a dinner party to spend time with people she loves. She knows what she wants and what only she can do. She told me about the plan for the future and I have a complete faith that she'll get there and even farther. Because of her faith and her action. She also told me this. "I don't decline cases because I don't know that area. I might say I don't know it now, but I will do my research and study if that's what need to be done. All I have to do is to study. Honesty and passion can take you a lot more than you can imagine." 

Talking to her actually got me confused, to be honest. I know that what she does is not what I want to do. But seeing how she is, knowing exactly what she wants to do, makes me doubt if I really know what exactly it is that I want to do for my life. People talk about "find something that you're passionate first." There are many things that I'm interested in and I love doing it. But is that my passion or is that my hobby?! What is my calling?! What is it that God wants me to do?! How would I know what is calling and what is hobby? How would I see the sign if I don't know what I'm looking for?! It's never-ending, isn't it?! I know. Personally, brainstorming is not the exact way to find that out. It seems like an eliminating my possibilities. Then again, what would I know. I realized that my vision was so limited. I had so many options and possibilities that I didn't know or see. This isn't something that I can come up with overnight. I know that I want to make people smile. I want others to see that the this life isn't just a full of crap, that it's still worth living. I want to create the place that people can be people, a person can be a person, you can be you without worrying about anything. I don't know what I'll end up doing. I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow or if I'd even wake up. But I want to live like that. I want to live my life the fullest. And you can to. Let's make that decision today and live our life the fullest. Without even knowing what we want, we still should be able to live our life the fullest. Love ourself. Be kind to other people. Be happy. Eat right. Do exercise. Smile often. Laugh a lot. Don't be afraid to be who you are. Hug more often. Be honest to what you are feeling. Take off the mask that you've been wearing. Now is a good time to start a new chapter, or better yet, to start a new book. What happened in the past already happened. You can't go back and change that. You can change your attitude. You can choose to learn from the past. If you made a mistake, learn from that mistake. If you loved doing something when you were kids, remember the feeling and start feeling that way again. 

Let's choose to make the best of what we have. Today is a new start. Tomorrow is another start. Close that book and open a new one. 

Love, Hope, Faith....

Roses are Roses.

“Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to.” 

― Lao Tzu-

"Roses bloom in summer. Cherry blossoms bloom in spring. Cosmos bloom in fall. Just because one bloom earlier than the other, does that mean one is more beautiful than the other?! "

I saw the seminar by Kim Nando, the professor of Seoul University, where he talks to college/university students who are about to graduate and start their career. It sounded like the contents could apply to life in general. When you apply for a job, especially bigger company or government, they look for your college credit, extra activities, volunteering, interning, so on and so on... The way he explained was like this. 

A lot of people are trying to be DUCK when they are not, which can both swim and fly. However, when the company is looking for an EAGLE, which are excellent at flying, do they want to hire DUCK, just because the person can fly AND swim to a certain degree?! NO. They want somebody who is excellent at flying, which is an EAGLE. Instead of trying to do everything, focus on your specialty and work on it. What you excel is what make you stand out. Instead of trying to be everything and anything, be you. It's good that you are good at a lot of things. You have a lots of drawers to pull out from. At the same time, when you have a lots of options, it's also easy to get confused, I think. He said, you don't have to find who you are, what you do is who you are.  I love that. George Barnard Shaw said “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”  When we think we lost who we are, or not sure what path to follow, we often say "I need to find who I am". The way we get confused. The way we struggle. The way we search... everything is part of who we are. That's a part of our journey. Everything we experience teaches us what we need to know. Every person we meet teaches us something we need to learn. How we react, how we learn, how we adapt... that's what makes us who we are. What happened to us, we cannot change, but how we go from there, that we have a choice. 

You don't have to compare yourself to others. Roses are not more beautiful than cherry blossoms. Cherry blossoms are not less beautiful than tulips. Every flowers are beautiful in their own way, just like we are. 

Love, Hope, Faith

When you're in the dark side

“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.” 

― Oprah Winfrey-

Have you ever felt like you're lost? You don't know who you are here. You don't know where you are going. You don't know what to do. You started doubting yourself. You don't feel any energy to wake up in the morning. You feel tired all the time... You don't see the meaning of your life..... Have you ever felt like that before? 

Especially in the world like this, a time like this,  anyone can get lost easily. Only Few people know what they want. Not all of those people are able to pursue that path. And even less people keep going. And only a handful of people will make it through. Knowing your path is only a beginning. So what would you do if you don't even know what is it that you want to do or what your path is?! You feel like you are merely surviving. You don't have any goal or purpose. You just wake up every morning for nothing. You feel like you'd rather not wake up because you don't know why you wake up every morning to begin with. You look at people on the street smiling and having fun, or at least so they seem anyway, and wish that you were them. You see other people getting their breaks. Doing things that you wish you were doing. Good things are happening except to you. You ask yourself why not me?! What happened to me?! What am I doing?! Why am I even here?!  Does that sound familiar?! 

The world is overflowed with everything and anything. too much information. too much materialistic things. People's definitions of "Happiness","Success" or "Having a comfortable life" have changed drastically. Doing "hard work" doesn't aways pay off. "Paying your dues" doesn't mean much. Making Youtube videos can make you a lot of money, or make you famous over night. Online has changed a lot of things as well. Things are not the same any more. What you believed in or what you thought it was right seem wrong in a matter of second. It's not easy to keep faith any more. People talk the talk and pretend they are somebody or something else. And they forgot who they are and can't find it any more. and once you are lost, it's not easy to get out from there, like in the quicksand. You try everything. Try to talk yourself up. Listen to all the motivational talk. Read self-help book. Meditate... and it still doesn't work. And it just makes things worse.

But I want you to remember that you have a spark within you. Somewhere deep inside, you have that spark that you need. You've always had it in you. Ever since the moment you were born, it has been there. All you have to do is to find it and light it. You'll never know when you'll see that spark. You might not realize it for a while. You have to be ready. Keep your eyes open. Listen to what the world is telling you. Pay attention to what's going on. It could be something as small as a flower on the curb. Or something you see on TV. Something you hear on the radio. Or something you see everyday even! It could be anything. God has put the spark with in you way before you were born. So when you find that spark, make sure you light it.  You will feel the indescribable love. And feel the love that you're surrounded. You will feel it. You will know. Keep your faith. If you haven't find the spark, the time will come. It might not happen soon. Nobody knows when. Sometimes you need to hold on to things that you don't see. And that's a part of your journey. Just remember that you're worth it. God has placed you here because there's a task He wants you to do, a task only you can do. Because you are who you are, and who you can be. 

Love, Hope, Faith.

You don't have to choose side. You are you.

“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. 

Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. 

We build ourselves out of that story.” 

― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind-

If you look up the meaning of the word "identity" on Google, these are the first 2 definitions that listed. 

1) the fact of being who or what a person or thing is, the characteristics determining who or what a person or a thing is, 

synonym; name, self, ego, personality, character, originality, distinction, singularity, peculiarity...

2) a close similarity or affinity

synonym; sameness, oneness, indistiguishability, self sameness, identicalness...

to me, those two definitions sound completely opposite of each other. The word "identity" originates the Latin "Idem" which means same. Then, how come this word can be used for 2 completely opposite meaning?! In philosophy and according to wikipedia, "Law of Identity" is the first of 3 classical laws of thoughts, which states that "each thing is the same with itself and different from another".  For example, an apple is an apple, or a car is a car. But every single apples are the same. Just like we are all human beings = SAME, and yet we all different human beings. 

Let's not talk about any more logistics or the specifics about the word or the laws. That's not what I want to talk about. But I thought it was very interesting that the one word can have 2 completely opposite meaning. We talk about our personality and individuality. And we all struggle to define who we are as a person. What are we?! What am I suppose to do?! What's our purpose?! A personality could be effected and built by many elements. Your cultural background, your environmental background, your family situation, your religion, your educations, your experiences... anything could be the elements of how you are formulated. After some point, you start asking yourself "WHO AM I?" And you search and search. You try to be someone else. You dress like someone, you talk like someone, you act like someone... and you still don't feel like yourself... especially in a place like Japan where I grew up, the sense of belonging can mean great deal.  

I recently read this book "もう声なんかいらないと思った”(I don't think I need such thing as a voice any more") by Hiroe Ohashi. She is a deaf actress/dancer/singer. Her strict mother taught and trained her to speak and communicate with other people orally. And she didn't teach her sign language. She struggled the world between hearing and non-hearing, speaking and non-speaking(sign language). Where would I belong?! Which side should I take?! What am I?!  Her struggle continued. And she came to the conclusion. I don't have to belong to either world. I am who I am and that's it. 

I am who I am. My struggle was being in between English world and Japanese world. It was two completely different world and at the same time, those two world  were both part of who I am. And when I read that, it made me feel less complicated. I don't have to choose side. We all have choice. We are equipped with everything we need. We need to cultivate and work on ourselves. We have to make an active choice to make ourselves better and we should do that. In order for us to do that we have to realize and accept that we are who we are, you are who you are for a reason. Seriously. I've talked about this so many times. But I am really passionate about this. Most of the time we don't even know what that is. All these good saying about we just follow our passion, or we have to find it, or we have to do this and that... we all hear that. And how many people know exactly what we want to do?! not that many I believe. Even if they knew how many people are courageous enough to follow that voice and pursue that path?! Not that many. How many people have the vision, not dream or hope but a vision, that you have a certain path?! Not that many either. Yes, we are in a transition. A lot more people have become spiritually aware of what's going on. A lot more information is available to us on a daily basis. A lot more things are corrupting and falling a part. People killing each other and losing hope. People struggle to make ends meet. Many children are dying of hunger and poverty. Why?! You ask. There are too many things that beyond our comprehension. As a matter of fact, there are only few things that we are able to comprehend. A lot of people don't pay attention or stop paying attention to what's going on outside of your own life because they don't directly affect their daily life. Yes, I am guilty of that as well.  It's so easy to lose sight of who you are, or not to even know to begin with. But if you are one of those who is struggling to find what world you belong to, please know that you are who you are. And that's what matters.  That's what you need to know. 

I might be very ignorant and optimistic. You might disagree with me. Some people might even hate me. But I wish there's someone who will get some glimpse of light in their life. You are amazing as who you are. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are good enough. God loves you. And you have to accept and embrace who you are. Just simply because you are who you are. And that's enough. I'm not saying be selfish or you can hurt others, that's completely different subject. Being who you are or accepting who you are don't mean you are worth more than the others. You simply accept the fact you are different from the others except that we're all human beings. Not a single person is exactly the same. Even the identical twins are different from each other. Love yourself and Live your Life, Love your life. And that's only a beginning. Your life starts then. 

Love, Hope and Faith

Life and death coexist

In the end, we only regret the changes we didn't take.

-unknown-

How often do you think about life or death?! Or do you think about it at all?!  The mother of my old classmate just passed a few days ago. She's a bit older than my mother, yet it was too fast. It's been a long time since the last time I saw her or her son, so it was a bit surreal. I didn't know what to make of it. It hit my mother a bit worse than it did to me. They were good friends for a long time. There were many people at the memorial to pay respect. It just reminded me that whatever time we have, we should embrace and live it for the best. 

I believe that to get the deeper concept of "death", you have to have enough experience both living as well as death. Kids don't understand the concept of death because they don't have that concept about life. They don't understand why the life has to end. It takes time. In order for us to grasp that idea of "death", first we have to know that we are alive. And even after that, it still takes time to understand what it means to be dead. The first death in my family I experienced was my grandmother, I was 15 years old. I was old enough to understand what it meant to lose her. She went to be with the Lord. (although I wasn't Christian back then.) Now that I think about it, I didn't get to say good bye to her either. Just like I couldn't to my grandfather. Memorials and funerals aren't always for the diseased.  It could also be for the ones that are still alive, for those who couldn't say good bye, so that they can move on and start a new chapter. As the light and the shadow coexist, life and death coexist. Without death, there's no life. Without life, there's no death. We are all destined to die. That's something we cannot ignore. And life is beautiful and precious, because it's so fragile and short. It adds more meanings and value to it. We need to embrace and appreciate that deeply, because it's something that we cannot hang on to forever. 

When I die, I don't want to regret anything. I want to live and love life the most. You must have heard this before,  "Live as if there's no tomorrow". And that's exactly right. You never know if you will have tomorrow. We assume that we will. And we make decisions or plans based on the assumption that we will wake up tomorrow morning. And we rarely think about the possibility that you might even wake up and see the light of the day.. I will not tell you to live with fear that you might die tomorrow. That, I will not do. But at the same time I do want you to realize that you will not live forever. Even the struggles you're facing now, you can experience that only because you are alive. If you weren't, you won't even be able to think that your life is crazy, lol. Even though some people say you'd rather not, I still disagree. God won't put you here if you weren't meant to be here. You are here and this specific time for reasons. And there's no doubt about it. Most of the reasons, we will not comprehend. But that doesn't matter. HE knows exactly what HE's doing. So have a faith in him and keep going. Do not lose the sight of who you are and who you came from. 

Love as if there's no tomorrow. 
Live as if there's no Life tomorrow. 

Love, Hope and Faith....

This beautiful earth.

Look around you. Everything changes.

Everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving. 

refining, improving, adapting, enhancing... changing

You were not put on this earth to remain stagnant

-Dr. Steve Maraboli-

Everything changes, whether you like it or not. People change, the nature changes, the world changes. We know that we cannot take anything for granted. Or at least most of us understand or are aware of that concept. Yet, there are still many things that we do take for granted. 

My father studied nature and agriculture back in college. And my late grandfather always went hiking. We used to drive up to the mountains, rivers or parks and spend time together. Now that I look back, my love for nature comes from this for sure. Anyhow... as usual, we drove up to the mountain this morning. It was the end of fall and snow was starting to come down. The color of the trees are indescribable. The yellow, the orange the brown, the red... they are all so beautiful and those simply categories cannot explain the each specific colors. Even till this day, about 70% of this country is covered by trees and natures. How amazing is that. My father explained to me how those specific trees take part in this mountain. Just because there are many trees, it doesn't mean it's good. To circulate enough sunlight, nutrients and oxygen, and to build rich forests some trees and plants need to be cut down and maintained. People from back in the days knew what they were doing and how the nature operates. Now there are people who oppose for using/making "wooden chopsticks" but the root of it was different. Those wooden chopsticks were made from those trees which need to be cut down to maintain the forest. Instead of just throwing it away, they found the way to maximize the trees, by making wooden chopsticks or matchsticks, toothpicks. So they were saving trees and forest in that sense. 

The circle of life is not only about the humans and animals. It's also about the plants and everything else on this earth. Have you seen the video of how wolves change the natural habitat?

How incredible is this?! I'm not saying we should go back to the way it was and live like the old days. But I do think that people knew the nature way more than we know now. We might know the facts and technological aspects of it. but they knew how to co-exist with nature. There are so much each individual can do, but if we do something together, that might be able to help the earth revive a little bit more. We are all a part of this Universe and this earth. Don't take that for granted. 

Love, Hope, Faith