how much do you actually know about yourself?

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” 
― C.G. Jung

How much do you think you know about yourself? And how much do you actually KNOW about yourself? Not how you want yourself to be or how you don't yourself to be, but the genuine you. How much do you know about that person? Are you afraid to get to know that person? Or are you willing to know that person? Who are you anyways?

We will never know the answer, won't we? I think that's the whole point of our life, our journey. We all search for that answer, till the day our spirit leaves our body. So, all we have to do is to live our life the fullest. Follow what your heart tells you and serve your passion, which could ultimately be your purpose. In order for you to do that, first, you have to know where you are and who you are in this point of your life. You may not be where you've imagined yourself to be, but you're better than you could have been. So, let's be grateful for that. But accepting who you are and where you are right now is not the easiest thing. It's rough.

This year has been a quite year so far. Definitely a transitioning period. Things are moving to a completely different direction than before, which I wouldn't have even imagined. And going through that period made me see a lot about myself. A lot more than maybe I want to. It has been challenging for sure. It made me go out of comfort zone, at least to a certain level and I know I should be going further than this.  We, the grown ups, love to show what we want to show to others. We like to look successful, composed, and perfect, in a way. For who? Why are we afraid of showing who we are? Why can't we just be who we are? Why should we embarrassed by who we are? Because our societies have created expectations and ideas in our heads from the beginning. Those images or videos.... those are not the reality. But we believe that is the reality. I realized that I am terrified of lots of things lately. Last few weeks, actually. Intimacy issues, trust issues, self-love issues, eating issues, and the list just goes on. I have so many rules that I made up, and don't want to bend it. For example, I have my routine when I wake up. And I will be so upset if I can't follow through. Because of that I haven't really like(or done) any sleepover at all. I have some OCD and control issues around the kitchen. And I don't like it when people do it differently. I feel like I've been wanting to cry for last few weeks and yet I haven't been able to. I don't know how to talk to people eye to eye when things become very personal. I don't like to talk about myself. (I can write about it, but not TALK to actual people in front of me.) I don't really know how to ask people for help. My eating habit is still not that great. I keep adding things to my schedule whenever I have time which makes me feel guilty etc, etc, etc.......

These are just the tip of the iceberg. I'm pretty sure everyone's got issues. And my issues don't seem that serious. But the truth is, that I didn't know these issues existed before. That was a bigger issue. Now that I am finding out all these issues, more and more are showing up and telling me, "hey, you need to work on these issues too". And it's rough. Then I go back to what I preach all the time. You have to love yourself for who you are and accept where you are". I have such a hard time doing it. I am willing to do that though. As the quote says. it's terrifying to accept who you are COMPLETELY! Any transitioning period is rough, and it's needed. Not a single car can keep running without refueling or maintenance. So are you willing to go through it? See and accept yourself for truly who you are? I hope you are. Because you are worth it. Because you are born to be better. Because you are already here.

Read this article by Purpose Fairy→ On Learning to make peach with your life

Love, Hope, Faith