Being alive = Feeling happens

“But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.” 
― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

It's not easy to let yourself feel, isn't it? Especially the ones that you are not used to. You forget how you let yourself feel, and how it feels and what that emotion is like. You just feel the discomfort and disconnect from yourself. You keep wondering what's going on in your head. Then you start wondering if there's something wrong with you for not being able to shake that off, for not being able to feel "happy", for not being able to find out what you are feeling. 

As we grow older, we avoid conflicts and discomfort. We protect ourselves from feeling the pain and anxiety. We learn to mask ourselves to show others that we are ok and happy. Why is it not ok to just feel? Where did we get that ideas from? Why did we stop letting ourselves feel? I think a lot of it came from the pain and trauma. The pressure and the expectations. From friends, family, society, and the yourself. You are an adult, you are suppose to act this way! You are not a child, you aren't suppose to cry over this! But why do we have to do that? all those feelings are there for a reason. A simple fact that you are alive. That's it. You are alive and feeling. and whatever it is that you are feeling, it's not invalid or unworthy. Everything you are experiencing are there for you to feel. 

The other day, I just couldn't stop myself from feeling disconnected. I thought I was angry and upset from what happened the day before. And the fact that I thought I was upset made me more upset. Because it's not like it was a life or death thing. I am suppose to be grateful and be happy. But I wasn't. And that made me feel even worth. Then I realized. I was hurt. I wasn't angry or upset. I was hurt. The moment I realized that there was an ease. It was ok for me to feel hurt. And I wasn't letting myself feel that. Just because you are feeling it doesn't mean that you have to broadcast your feeling to the world. It doesn't mean that you have to act accordingly. It just means that you are feeling that particular emotion. And it's ok for to you feel that. Anger, Sadness, Hurt, Betrayal, Happiness, Jealous, Excitement, Gratitude, ... we are vibrational beings. We are energy. It's only natural for us to feel. As a matter of fact, it's crazy not to feel. Let yourself feel all those things. Just take that in. Accept the fact that you are feeling that way. You can punch a pillow, or scream in your room. Jump up and down. Everyone is feeling, just because we are alive. There's nothing wrong with it. Allow yourself to feel it. 

Love, Hope and Faith