No! I know exactly what I want, when I want and how I want!

“You cannot fulfil God's purposes for your life while focusing on your own plans. ” 

― Rick Warren

Let go of the need to control and surrender. That seems to be my theme nowadays. The expectation we put on ourselves can drive us crazy big time. So why do we d that? 

We don't like to think that we are not in control of what's going on around us. When we want something, we know exactly WHAT we want, WHEN we want, and HOW we want. Right? And because we know EXACTLY that, when things go out the way, we get upset. Why isn't it happening? Why isn't it happening the way I want it? Why? Why? WHY?????? The truth is.... we are never in control. What we are in control of is the way we see it, what to see it and how we react to it. We cannot control what/when/how we get anything. It just is not how the Universe works. And we have to accept the fact that whatever it is happening just right now, that's exactly what we need right where you are. NOT what you want, but what you need. We've probably heard that before right? 

So, let me share my story. Up until few days ago, I was really frustrated. My business wasn't going the way I want it to be. I wasn't getting enough result from the clients or the prospect. Especially because of the summer people are out of town, out and about... basically it was really hard to get hold of people. Also, once I get hold of them, the conversation didn't really go the way I wanted them to be. So, I got frustrated. REALLY frustrated. Because I had expectations for myself. I wanted to hit the certain number by this particular day. That didn't happen. I didn't see it happening. Was I doing everything I can? Maybe not, but I thought I was trying hard, at least. But when people weren't responding the way I wanted them to, that was devastating. I wanted to see the result. I wanted to see the numbers. So that I can validate myself that I was doing the right thing. Then my mentor asked me this. "What is it that about yourself that's reflecting your current situation?" Wow. that hit me like a rock. 

1) I was making "TIME and MONEY" as excuses. : When you REALLY want something, you will MAKE time. "The RIGHT time", that doesn't exist. You will figure out the way to come up with the money. So, those aren't actually the issues. It's your commitment to yourself. 

2) I was not committing to myself. : What is my priority? Was my day job priority? Was returning that email my priority? Making a commitment to yourself is THE most difficult thing, in my opinion. It takes persistence, dignity and focus. How many times have you said, "I'm cutting sugar!" or "I'm gonna go to the gym 4 times a week" or "I'm gonna lose 10lbs by this day"? And how did that go? Don't cheat yourself out. Don't rob yourself from owning your own power. You have to really WANT it. And you have to be willing to sacrifice. You have to be willing to say, NO, this TV show can wait. Of course we all have good days and bad days. So, when that bad day happen, you don't have to quit. Acknowledge that you fell off the wagon and get back on it. In order for us to build anything, whether build muscle or habit, we have to get back up when we fall. that's the only way to build. The more you get back up, the stronger foundation you'll make. So don't rob yourself from building that strong foundation. 

3) I was expecting so much from other people. : Again, this life that we live in, we cannot control what's going on in the world. I am my own journey, and you are on YOUR journey. It is not for me to say, "YOU HAVE to do such and such for me so that I can have XYZ." That's not fair to you at all. We don't get to treat people that way. All we can do is be responsible for our own part. Trust that the Universe will take care of you. Not the way you want it to be. But exactly the way you need to move on to that next stage. 

So, what is it about YOUR current reality that you're reflecting on? We can want certain results. We can hope for certain goal. But it's not for us to decide whether we're gonna get it or not. It's so much easier said than done. This could be a life theme for a lot of us. Know that the Universe has your back, not only intellectually, but on the cellular level. Start seeing things from the different perspective? What can I learn from this? What is that I am missing? how can I serve in this situation? How would I see it different if I choose to see the situation from the place of love and compassion? 

You are not alone in this. We can support each other, by sharing what's going on on your mind, your current situation, or the struggle you're going through, or the lessons that you found.... We can all learn something from each other. The exact test you're going through, somebody might be going through as well. So, don't be afraid to reach out to people. Build the muscle to see things differently and trust. And know that the Universe has got your back! 

Love, Hope, Faith

Be Human BEING

“Each person you meet

is an aspect of yourself,

clamoring for love.” 

― Eric Micha'el Leventhal

First and foremost. I love you. Even though I've never met you, even though I will never meet you, I love you. Because you are who you are, wherever you are. I send my love and prayer for Nice, France. Things keep happening. One after the other. We keep hurting each other and blaming on each other. Why? I don't get it. I am glad that I don't get it.

We all want the same thing, we all want love and to be loved. We all want safety for ourselves and for our family. We all want nice food on our tables and educations for the children. We all want to connect with others and feel equal. Then why do we fight? Why do we put labels on things? Why do we compare and compete with each others? Why one side of the street is the richest area on earth and the other side is complete opposite, struggling to feed the children? 

I stopped watching news while ago. I couldn't watch it. All these crazy and devastating news made me sick to my stomach. So I turned away. Still, the news were keep coming in. The social media feed, people talk about it. But I haven't paid attention. I lived in the bubbles. I lived in the lala land where everything was nice and happy. I lived in the place where things were good because I was happy. I am guilty. I am so guilty for all of these. The other day, when I went to see Marianne Williamson speak, it felt like I was slapped in the face. "As a collective being, if one part of the world is suffering and in pain, we cannot be happy as a whole, because we are all one". We are all one. We are all connected. I cannot ignore and pretend that everything is ok, because it's not. We need to be bold enough to speak our mind. So, I am choosing. I choose to be bold and say, I am against this mess. I choose to say LOVE is my religion and I choose to LOVE. I choose LOVE for myself and for others. I choose LOVE. And I am proud of that. They say if you keep complaining and do nothing to change the situation, you are a part of the problem. The thing is that when the problem is big, we all assume that our small effort is not gonna do anything. We think that we are all so insignificant, what we think or say doesn't matter. But it does. What we say or think does matter indeed. What we put out in the Universe does matter. That's why we need to choose LOVE. That's why I CHOOSE LOVE. As Lin Manuel Miranda said, LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE.....  Yes, I am very fortunate and blessed. I am in the situation where I could write about this and say that I choose LOVE. I have people I love, the roof over my head and I have food on my table. So, YES, I am blessed. It doesn't mean that I don't care. I DO CARE. I do care so much and believe that what we do collectively will make change. If and when we choose to do it together. 

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU more than you can imagine. And I beg you to join me on this journey. I beg you to choose love. Start choosing love. Be compassionate. Be understanding. Be willing to see  beyond what's on surface. Be brave to speak out. We are all light. We are all human beings. We are all one.  DOn't pretend that everything is ok. Don't be alone. We are all in this together. 

Love, Hope and Faith

My religion is LOVE.

 "Everything in Nature is a wonderful miracle. 

Isn't the little bird flying through the vast sky a miracle?" 

—Amma 

I went to see AMMA yesterday. It was my first time. It shook me to core. Right after she gave me her blessing, I felt like I just got hit by a truck. Her energy was enormous. Overwhelming amount of love flood through my whole entire body. No words can explain what it was like. If you've ever met her, you would know what I am talking about.

It felt like I was going down the rabbit hole. Is that what Alice felt like? It was powerful beyond measure. Before I approached her, they asked me what my mother tongue was. Although I've been working on accepting my Japanese side, I caught myself being hesitant to say "Japanese". I almost said "English". My ego was saying "Can't you hear me talking to you in English? I have almost no accent". After I told them it was Japanese, they told Amma that I am Japanese, that my mother tongue that is. She gave me a big hug and whispered something to my ear repeatedly. I couldn't really make out what she was saying. It didn't matter anyways. It must have been a matter of 10 seconds or so, but it seemed like an eternity. I felt my grandmother's presence who passed away when I was 15 years old. She kept telling me that "It's going to be ok." After I stood up, a tear fell out of my eye, then one, then another... it just kept pouring out from my eyes and I didn't know how to control myself. And somehow I knew that I didn't have to. I felt insignificant, so small, so tiny, compare to her enormous presence, I was nothing. I felt powerless. And yet, I felt unlimited possibility, that what I thought my "grand master plan" is so tiny compare to what I am actually capable of. I felt my ego being shrunk up. Is this what love feels like? I was confused, overwhelmed, shaken up. I still can't explain what it was. But it felt like, I was experiencing the duality of the world, the expansiveness of the world, and possibility and the end of the world. How can a person do this? How can this small woman have such a strong power and love? How is any of this possible? So I kept crying. I didn't care.

We are all mere collection of tiny matter. The difference between me and you is just the combination. We were made out of the same thing. So that's why we are one. Because what makes us who we are is the same energy. What we experience, what we take in, those constantly affects the patterns of the combination. That causes different vibrational frequency and balances. We are all the same. If we can just tune into that oneness and love more, then we get to understand each other more. Because our vibration start match. It's fascinating isn't it? We spend so much time building up walls that's preventing us from becoming who we are, who we truly are. So we cannot have the same frequency as the others. It might not be possible to have the exact same frequency as others. It doesn't matter. The bottom line is that we are all the same. We are all here to be who we are, just the way we are. We have to love ourselves. Please love yourself. You are who you are for a reason. Your gift is your gift so that you can fulfill your part, so that you can raise that vibration with those who need you.You are beautiful inside out. Please do know that.

The brief meeting with Amma made me want to become better. She made me want to expand more, serve more and be me more. Imagine how many lives we can change if we all just realize that all of us can have that much of love at any time. And that's actually how it should be. I cannot wait to see the day that'll come true. To see the day when people share love, respect each other with love, have compassion and empathy, and help each other. Our possibilities are infinite. There are so much more than what we know. Don't limit yourself because of your past. Don't hesitate to get out of your comfort zone. Don't be afraid of your own greatness. Don't be afraid to reach out to others and seek for help. Don't be afraid to be you. Because you are powerful. you are beautiful. You are light. You don't have to ignore the shadow side. Embrace that shadow side so that you can emanate more light. Embrace that "Ugly" part so that you can be more compassionate. Be you. Share love. That's all it is.

I love you all, more than you can imagine.

Love, Hope, Faith