always be you

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” 

― May Sarton

Before this commercial became an huge topic yesterday for a super bowl ad, I came across with this while ago. It's amazing how the definition of "like a girl" changes. What is it that makes us feel like we have to act and behave like a certain way?! Are girls suppose to behave more politely than boys? Are girls suppose to be less outspoken or opinionated than boys? Are the girls suppose to stay home and cook for boys? Are the girls not meant to lead a company or team or country? What is it that makes girls different from boys?! And it must happen to male too. Do you have to act certain way because you are male. Are you suppose to be tough, gentle and be a leader, because you are man? Are you not suppose to cry because you are man?! Are you not suppose to wallow or talk about your feeling because you are man?! No. We are both human beings. 

Biologically and genetically we were created differently from the beginning. So, I am not going to say that we are the same. That's not true or the fact. However, we are both human beings and we should be treated , or given opportunities equally. That I stand by very strongly. But before even go into that, what I want to talk about is your authenticity. Especially nowadays, many people talk about "be who you are", "you are good enough", "be authentic" so on and so on. Then what is it that makes us not be that? when do we stopped being who we are? When did we start worrying about what other people think about us? or how people look at us? When did we start worrying about not getting it "RIGHT"? When did we start thinking that certain feelings are bad and certain feelings are good?! When did we start wearing the mask?! 

Everyone has their moments or events that caused you to act certain way. 

A) it could be personal. 

You might have heard your parents saying "no we don't have money for that" or "boys don't act this way" or "stop acting like this!" or anything. Maybe you were bullied. Maybe you heard someone was talking bad behind your back. Maybe you were moving all the time and didn't know how to handle it. Maybe your parents got divorced when you were little. And the fact is that most us don't even remember what triggered what. But every single events that has happened till now, has formed you to be who you are now. You might have created a safety wall between you and certain people. You might have learned to laugh when you are uncomfortable. You might have learned not talk about yourself much because you thought you are not good enough. No matter what it is or what it was that caused you to act certain way, most of the time, you were protecting yourself. 

B) it could be cultural

There are still many places that female are considered not as equal as male. it's sad. also religion could be the reason. For the longest time, in most countries, men had more power than female. And female were expected to serve men, and to be the subordinant. Even historically, many fought for their rights. History and cultures were passed down to centuries and it truly is a form of brainwash. No wonder it's hard to break those mentality of individuals and of course the culture itself. We've been told to do so ever since we were a little kids. 

We all know this, at least we are aware of those things. But what does being authentic means in a first place?! Do we just say whatever we want and do whatever we want? And it sounds like it'll be a chaos. Your feeling matters. Your opinion matters. Do you always have to act out those? Not really. Somebody makes you really upset and want to punch that person, do you have to actually punch that person!? NO! But the fact that you are upset, that feeling itself does matter. You can use other outlet to let those anger out. We all have our defense mechanism that we built throughout the years. 

I am a petite(short), Asian female. Does that mean I am weak!? no. I played sports and work out. I am stronger than people usually assume. Does that mean I know how to do Kung fu, or have a PhD? No. I don't know martial arts and I didn't finish college. Does that mean I should walk 3 steps behind men!? NO. I can walk next to, or even ahead of men if I want to.  I do have my blocks mentally in so many places, and start working on those. I love what I love. Pink is my favorite color. I love red wine and chocolate. I love good music and movies. My passion is to "inspire people". Do I have flaws and bad habits?! Of course I do, so many of them. Do I always have to be positive and happy? No. I don't have to. I would want to be though.  

Explore what you are feeling. Admit what you are feeling inside. Love who you are, including the part that you don't like. Forget what other people might think of you or look at you. It's your life and you are the star. 

Love, hope, faith