be in the moment

Everyone says "just be in the moment", "enjoy this moment", "cherish this moment".... And we try so hard to be in it, enjoy it, and cherish everything about what's going on. The truth is that that efforts makes you think even more. "I wanna be in it" " I wanna enjoy  this". "I want to be grateful and cherish every moment of my life". I want to, want to.. want to... and you judge yourself, am I doing it right?! am I in the moment?! The moment that thought occurs, you are already not in the moment. Because if you are truly in the moment, you will not be judging yourself, or keep wondering if you are doing it right. It is such a contradiction, isn't it?!

the thought didn't even occur to me until someone told me. She said that she can see me trying so hard to be in the moment, and that actually is the exact thing that's blocking me from truly being in the moment. She even said that sometimes my breathing will show that as well. It's crazy, isn't it?! Breathing is something we do naturally. It shows the state of our mind. When we are nervous, we breathe quickly and shallow. When we are relaxed, we breathe deeply and quietly. When we are excited, that changes our breathing pattern as well. You see, it's all connected. And the fact that she was able to see it through me in that way, amazed me. It made total sense. Indeed, I was trying very hard to be in the moment and engage to that situation. I really was. The only thing is that I didn't realize how hard I was trying. I didn't realize how important it is to take a moment to readjust, find balance, and scan my body, realizing how I'm feeling or reacting. It's easy not to look or acknowledge that. We often turn away from those. Most of the time unconsciously. We are all so used to hiding our true feelings or thoughts to the point we don't even know what we are feeling.

It's not easy process to comprehend or to adjust. But the fact that now I know that I was still trying and not actually being in the moment, that was a light bulb moment. When you are kid, you don't think about any of this. Because they are too busy living their life and every moment! Everything is precious. Remember the night before your field trip and you couldn't fall asleep?! Were you thinking if you are in the moment!? NO! because you WERE in the moment, not trying to be in the moment. There's no trying. Just like YODA says. Don't be afraid of what other people might think of you or what you are doing. They are too busy thinking about themselves, just like the way you are afraid of their judgement or criticism. So, don't let those fear ruin you from enjoying this life.

So, let's be in the moment, instead of trying to be in the moment.

Love,