Are you changing your reality? or your idea of happiness?

“It is not until you change your identity to match your life blueprint that you will understand why everything in the past never worked.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

This has been a year of transition and change. It has been. I have been reflecting a lot. How far I've come. How much I've changed. How far I've grown... This is definitely the craziest year I had in my adult life. and I am so grateful that I have experienced everything. Thank you everyone for holding my truth. thank you everyone for reminding me that I am not alone.

The thing I'm really learning a lot right now is this. After listening to Marianne Williamson's lecture, this hit me the hardest.

"THE TIME FOR DATA COLLECTING IS OVER".

I really need to apply all these tools and informations into my life. Self-esteem, believing in myself, connecting with other people, being vulnerable... all these things are the thing I've always wanted. Things that I've craved all these years. And I have read enough books, listened to audios, watched videos, had chat with my friends. NOW it is time to apply all those things into action. Applied knowledges and information are what makes differences. Not on its own. Unless we take that actions, we are not going anywhere.

I was self sabotaging myself big time. I realized that. and see that so much clearer than before. I built the belief that "No matter what I do, I am not good enough". well, ultimately, "I AM NOT ENOUGH". I still wanted to look good, still wanted the validation and praise from others. So I pretended that I WAS taking actions. I told this to some people, but I was so good at leaning at the edge of the cliff, half way there, yet, clinging on to what's left on the edge so tight. Because I was afraid. I was so afraid of failing. I was so afraid of succeeding. From other people's point of view I was always doing something, at least that's what they told me. But for those who see me, ACTUALLY see me, they knew what I was doing. At the end of the day, you cannot lie to yourself. You know what you are doing. You know that you are just saying things. You know that you are just BSing. And yes, I was. I knew that I wasn't doing anything. I was preparing, and storing information. but I wasn't applying anything. Of course, I was terrified of the change! What if people look at me all silly? what if people think I am an idiot? What if they see me and think "WHO DO YOU THINK SHE IS?"? So, I didn't do anything.

I can easily go to beat up mode and say, I should have done this and that and that. There are tons and tons of should have and could have. But why would I want to do that? Why would I want to spend time on the things that I cannot change?

Tony Robbins says,

"people are not happy because they have the ideas of where they should be or how their happiness should look like(blueprint, he calls it). And that's not matching their current reality. There are 2 ways to be happy.

1) you change your blueprint. or
2) you change your current reality"

So, what's it gonna be for you? Are you changing your idea? or are you changing your reality?

Love and light,

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? 

Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?

 Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that." 

- George Carlin -

I watched Michael Beckwith's video yesterday and that opened up something new. Really it was an eye opening. And my dear friends Justin Finkelstein and Lindsey Bornstein, and many other. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by these amazing people. 

This year has been a year of transition, the year of shift. I opened up a lot more space for myself both physically and energetically. It is mind-blowing. To see how much has changed. To witness the changes that I've been through from completely different point of view. And because I am on a little bit hyped up state, I could be this positive, and be in the state of empowerment. What if I'm not?! I would rather stay in this bubble, stay this place of love and high and not wanna go back in to the physical realm. Like you just don't want this Christmas Miracles to be over. But the truth is that there will be the point that thing will shift and I will be in the place of doubt and stagnant. What I am doing right now is to work on the muscle to build a habit, so that when that happens, I have a tool to come back. So that I can access the choice with conscious awareness. So that I could say "Yes, I am making this choice.". 

A neighbor and I were just talking and she said something really profound. 

"Where there's an action, there's reaction. No action, No reaction". 

So, let's just take a moment and really reflect on that. Whether you like the reaction or not, the fact that you ARE getting that reaction is a proof that you DID take action. And that's something to be celebrated. Yes, true. Sometimes the actions we take are auto-pilot, or subconscious. Yet the moment you realize that whatever we do, anything for that matters, as long as we are breathing, we ARE taking actions. So we are constantly creating that ripple effect. We are constantly bringing the shift in the collective consciousness and collective energy. That's why people say there's no line between you and I. Because we are connected so closely to each other energetically and we are actually not separated. Separation comes from fear. Separation comes from not knowing. Separation comes from lack of love. Separation is something we created. We are all one. Everything we do pretty much are learned behavior and beliefs. And some of them are ingrained genetically. It's that strong. But, when we take that moment to see things for what is, and see what your physical eyes can see, and connect with that person right in front of you....you will start seeing things differently. 

I realized that I have not been as present as I could have been. As I was watching Michael Beckwith's 90min video, I went on the phone, I opened the different tab on Safari, I went to grab my coffee.... so how present was I? Not to dismiss what I learned from this amazing lecture. What I got from it was HUGE. So think about how much more I could have gotten, if I were 100% present? Imagine. 

We are light. We are love and what we see and what we hear... it all comes back to us. So, why not be more present? Why not share more love? Why not be more present? The question becomes "WHY NOT?" So, ask yourself a question today. WHY NOT BE LOVE? 

Love and light

A New Ground

I wish I could take my own medicine..... That's what I have been thinking for the past few days. lol. Life is funny, isn't it?!

When you start your journey as a seeker and a student of life, you learn a lot. And all these information that we learn, it is no use if we don't apply into our lives. I am a spiritual and self-help book junkie. I love those books, videos, audios.... those are my thing. That makes me feel good. That makes me feel I did something good not only for myself but also for the world. But the thing is that nothing actually happened. I might have put a seed or two in my brain. I might have gained some knowledge. I might have even shared some of these informations and tools with others. But if I don't apply those amazing things into my life, what's that gonna do?

This past few weeks, I have been really struggling emotionally. I have been crying like I have never before. I have been on emotional roller coasters like I have never been before. I have been throwing temper tantalum like I have never before. I have gained so much information and principals that i have not yet to apply into my life. In other people's eyes, I may look like I am doing everything, doing all the "right" thing, "walking" the talk... but who am I kidding? !I know more than anybody that that ain't gonna cut it.

I am finishing this training that I was in for the past 90 days. The people that I met in this group and throughout this period.. they changed my life. Seriously, my life changed. I don't think I am the same person. The people come into my life changed. The way I relate with people changed. The way I connect with myself change. And yesterday, I was freaking out because I thought that the moment this 90 days are over, it's all gonna disappear like the dream. People will disappear. What I have been through was just a dream. And I will be all alone again.... I knew that wasn't true. I knew that this is all real and these people are not going anywhere. And I did have accomplish all these things. The goals that I have and haven't reached are still there. Yet, I was terrified. I knew that I have a choice to shift my thought and be strong. Yet, my emotion were taking over me. I couldn't shake out the feeling. I wasn't making choices. It was easy to stay in that realm.

This experience was all for trying the new ground. And for me, that was allowing myself to feel it. Allowing myself to be vulnerable. Allowing myself to not be alone. Allowing myself to be ok with sharing those. Allowing myself to be really vulnerable and let others support me. And that actually has been a new ground. So, thank you for creating this space. Thank you fro allowing me to be ok with who I am. And thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for trusting me.