“I may be going nowhere, but what a ride.”
― Shaun Hick
Last night, I went to C.R.E.A.T.E., the theme of the night was "DELAY", in continuation to the "instant manifestation" from the last week. So, the gap between when the desire happens and till the point things come to manifest, that's delay. As much as we want things to happen right away, there are many things that we wish it didn't come to manifest, right? Imagine, when you are feeling bad and start thinking "I wish I get hit by a bus!", then that manifests right away? That's not what we want, is it? Whether we admit it or not, we are being saved by having that delay. So, the whole session was about that delay and the tension. We live in the where things don't happen when we want or how we want. It's just that's how it is. There's a power that's bigger than us that's orchestrating this whole thing. You can call it however you like. But we are all a part of that bigger picture, and everything and anything we do is a part of that. So, we don't get to decide when we want, how we want or what we want for that matter. Our ego, our small vision which isn't capable of seeing things from the bigger picture, that prevents us from opening up to the possibilities of what can actually happen. We think we know what's best for us, but we don't. We really don't. When you are a child, you think you know everything. Yet, your parents usually know what's best for you, or the better options for you. Only because they have learned to see thing from different perspectives. And they know that they don't know everything. They know that the things happen when or how we want. So what's the point of having goals or trying to go for anything?! What's the point? The answer is there is NO POINT! The journey itself, that is the point. Someone said, "I feel like I'm stuck all the time just waiting for the life boat to come save me". Then the other person answered, "What if you are already on that life boat? but you just haven't seen that yet." We are on that life boat. We are the journey. We are the LIFE.
If I may, I've wrote about the journey with my obsession with Miss Saigon multiple times. I was obsessed, I was beyond narrow minded, I was not seeing anything else. For more than 10 years, from the beginning where I fell in love with that show to the point I auditioned for the broadway production, I changed. And I changed so much. My path has changed completely. Everything has changed. And guess what? If I did book that show, if I did play Kim, if I did get what I wanted, I wouldn't have come to this path. I wouldn't have been able to allow myself to take this journey, meet all these amazing people, and say that I am happy with who I am. And it's all because I didn't get what I wanted. Of course it took me a long time to see it that way, but I was able to come to this place. It's different from giving up and making some excuses. It's not that. I did find a different path. I did find different passion and calling. I did chose to get on this path. I allowed myself to say it's ok not to keep going in that path and that life changes. It took a course to admit that you are not the same person. It took me a lot of time to admit that acting/musical theatre isn't my priority. And I felt guilty for feeling that way. I wanted to keep doing because that was my passion, Ive invested on it, and that was all I know how to do. Yet, life took me somewhere else. And when you allow yourself to follow that path, that's when miracles start to happen. I decided to leave my acting class because of that. It's a great class, the teacher is one of the best, it's a very popular class with a waitlist. So giving up that spot also took me a courage. I kept thinking "What if I want to come back and I can't get back in?" "I want to keep my spot".... But I knew that if the life wants me to be back, it'll be available. So I left. Then yesterday, I found out that because I left, a friend of mine was able to get in the class. And that made me happy. That was absolute synchronicity. When you make space for yourself, you are not only creating something else to come into your life, but also creating space for others. That's fascinating. This clicked me more to see that we ARE INDEED a part of a bigger picture, filling each pieces of the puzzle. And that's beautiful. That's magical. And I love that. See things from bigger picture. Always have room for something new to come in. Be available and open to change. Be willing to accept things for what is. Learn to accept and see things from the bigger picture. And love yourself more than anything else in the world. You have to love yourself first in order for you to do something great, something wonderful, something that you are created to do. Enjoy that ride. this Ride is everything. You have to fill your own cup first. You are divine. You are love. You are miracle. Don't ever forget that. I love you. and I am so honored to be a part of this bigger picture with you.
Love, Hope, Faith...
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