face the problem part1

“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.” 

― Julia Child

You know what people say, when a student is ready, a teacher will appear, or when a teacher is ready a student will appear. I felt like the Universe is telling me to work on another issue of mine. The signs are everywhere. And I have been realizing that more often. So, let’s now make a confession, so that I can make a commitment to this issue and have you as my accountability partner. 

According to the statistics, more than half of female in United States don’t have healthy eating habit. It’s not a big surprise, is it? Driving to work while drinking coffee and taking bites of your breakfast or a banana. Substitute your meal with protein shake. Running from one place to another, by the time you realize, you can’t even remember when was the last time you actually sat down to eat an actual meal. Not only our busy life, but also the expectation from the society and photoshopped cultures, the media have been brainwashing their definition of beauty to the younger generations. No wonder our self-image isn’t the greatest. 

I have really bad eating habits. I wrote about my past issues before. Bu it started when I was 15, during the transition to the high school. When I stopped swimming I gained so much weight. Once I was in high school I tried to lose weight by not eating and exercising more and more. I was in the handball team, our practice usually required 2-3 hours of serious running. I rarely eat after that practice and went to the swimming pool to swim for another hour or so.  I got on the scale every morning and every night, obsessed by every ounce. The scale not going down made me upset. The only way to make me happy was if I was loosing weight. Of course I lost my weight. I was 4’11” and 68lbs. (And the scary thing is that it’s not too bad in Japanese people’s point of view). My period stopped for over a year. Sometimes seeing the food made me sick to stomach. It made me noxious. I got over that phase, eventually. I didn’t really have the bulimic stage. Right now what I am facing is binging and sugar addiction. 

When I started the teacher’s training back in September, one of the first lecture with the registered nutritionist struck me. I can’t exactly remember what she said, but she said something along the line of this, some “vegetarian” or similar style of eating comes from the eating disorder or weight issues. And I knew then that I am still struggling with my eating habits. I eat light or right in front of people. But I binge eat before I go to sleep. I can finish the bag of chips or cookies, a pint of ice cream if I want to. That’s not a problem. It’s horrible. The Universe is telling me to start eating right everyday nowadays. In my email box, there’re invitations for Ayurvedic eating courses, healthy eating courses coming in last week or so. It kinda forcing me to face the reality. I am healthy in general term. I don’t get sick. I exercise and practice yoga. And I think it’s time for me to start moving on to this part of my health. Otherwise, I won’t be seeing all these signs anyways, right? 

So, here’s what I am going to do. 

1. keep food journal. 
2. start eating 3 times a day. (right now I eat 2times and snack).
3. start cutting back on white sugar. (I think starting from White sugar would be a smart idea) 

So, here it is. And I know that in the end, it’s all about modifications. My teacher told me yesterday, “whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right”. That’s true. It’s all in you. It’s all in us. The difference is if you want it or not. If you want something, really want something, you will take actions. Then the Universe will know that you are serious. Start taking actions, whatever it might be to you. let the Universe know that you are in it to win it. 

What’s your action plan? You don’t have to wait till the next year to start new regimen. You can start now. Get a head start. Your new you starts now.  

step of faith

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

Happy post Thanksgiving. I hope you all had a great thanksgiving and have a great time with your family and friends. Again, it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving Day to give thanks. You don't have to wait to say thank you or I love you. You can say that everyday, every moments whenever you feel like it and you should. Don't expect anyone to understand how you're feeling without telling them. Don't be like "Oh, she knows that I love her." or "He knows that I care about him and appreciate everything he does." No, tell them how much you love and appreciate whatever or whomever it might be to you.

It has been a little while since my last post. I started a teacher's training for Chakra Yoga in September. Initially, it wasn't my intention to become a yoga teacher. I just wanted to learn more about Chakra system and chakra Yoga. It has been a tremendous help for me. It has given me opportunities to dig deeper into myself, my value and my shadows... It was been a quite a ride. I am feeling so much more emotions and face things that has been blocking me for ages, and to admit the things that I wasn't able to do before. It's definitely a journey. And I have 3 more weeks to go. I am more confused than ever. I am more off balance than ever, especially last few days. However, I am more alive than ever. I didn't even know how much I talk to myself. And yes, I do talk to myself in my head a lot. I don't know what to do or where to go now, especially because before all this, I thought my path was clear. I thought that the fog was finally clearing up and I am seeing the light ahead. But maybe not.

There is no such thing as a small step. There's only A step. Some might have more impact on you than the others. Some might take you further than the others. Some might give you more insight than the others. But all the steps you take is A step. A simple step that leads you to the next one. The collections of steps, one after another. that's what makes your path. You can only see the road by looking back. You can't see what lies ahead. When you move forward and take actions, each step becomes visible. Then one after one after one. It's a simple repetition of this same thing. We just have to keep taking the steps. even those which seems like a set back, it's actually not a set back. it's another step that you're taking. All you have to do is to keep going. Each steps, each events that comes into your life just opens up a whole new world for you, only if you let it happen, only if you allow yourself to see it.

I am so grateful for everyone in my life. I am not great at communicating when it comes to doing it in person. But I am so grateful for everyone. They have taught me so many different lessons. Each one told me something different, something valuable, something that helps me grow. And for that I am forever grateful. I love you all and may your life filled with love, hope and faith.

Love+Hope+Faith,