money will not guarantee your happiness

Let's talk about something, we are all thinking. Finance. Let's face it, we live in the world that we kinda have to face that. We pay rent, mortgage, bills.... it's just a piece of paper. But it can completely take over our life. How is that even possible?!

"When I have this much money, I will be happy", you hear people say that all the time. The truth is that isn't the case. When you have that money, you're gonna want more. You don't think that's enough. Again, you are not happy yet. Then, you give yourself a new goal. When you reach that goal, guess what?! it's the same thing all over again. You will not be happy. Because money is not the thing that guarantees or gives you happiness. That's completely on you. Money is necessarily to live in this world. I will not deny that. But, it does not give you happiness.

Even though I was fortunate enough to have a roof over my head, I've been broke. Every time I went to the bank, it shows the overdraft fee added up. It's funny isn't it?! How can I pay fee if I don't have any money in the account?! yet, every time they kept charging me the overdraft fee. I got myself new jobs.  worked 2 jobs, combined 60+hours a week. After a while, the bank stop charging me overdraft fee, instead, they started offering me better options.  It was way more than I ever had. I had a goal, enough money to move, start taking more lessons, start investing more into my passion. It didn't happen. I didn't think it was enough. Those hours drove me crazy. After the tax, I ended up paying more to the government. I quite one of the job. I wasn't making as much money, but it gave me more calm and better feeling. Of course I was spending the same amount as I was working 2 jobs, so my account started to going low again. Not like before. I was still doing good.

Then I finally made up my mind to move to New York. I had maybe a half of what I had the most. It made me think I should have made the move earlier. LOL. After I got my apartment, I was pretty much broke again. Now, I'm barely scratching the surface. I definitely don't have as much as I want to, or I should. To be honest, I don't even know how I'm gonna make next month's rent. But I am not going to stop doing what I love. I love taking my classes, and what makes me happy. I realized that having lots of money is not what makes me happy. "I'll be happy when I have lots of money". "I'll start living the life I want to when I have more money to spent". No! You have to live your life now. Maybe you don't have enough money to pay for the class or equipment, or whatever you want. But you can still do what you love to do. Never stop doing that. We have to work, yes. I'm not telling anyone to stop working for the sake of pursuing your dream, unless you have some sponsor completely supports you. But, we all struggle to live. and that's what makes us strong. that's what makes us better as a person. We understand how to work hard and put efforts in. We understand how not to take anything for granted. We understand that it's a privilege not a right to be alive and have something we love and be able to do that. We understand that we are happy not for the money, but for our heart. And we are in charge of our own action and the way we feel towards things, not the result, or the things already happened. We might not be able to change the circumstances right away, but we CAN change the way we approach towards that circumstances. Everything has two ways to see. One: positive and beneficial. Two: negative and problematic. Turn your brain to the first one until it becomes automatic. Start realizing the positive aspect of the situation. Start seeing what's good about people you meet. Start feeling great about every situation you're put into. It might not come natural all the time. We all have our ups and downs. And it's all good. We are allowed to feel what we feel. That's part of our journey. And accept that about you. Including everything, we are all amazing being. And if you don't like something about yourself, guess what?! you have the power to change how you see that.

I needed to kinda remind myself about this.

Thank you for reading this.

Love,

Never apologize for who you are

You can apologize for what you did.

But never apologize for who you are.

----Ash Beckham----

We are who we are for purpose. Ever the things we don't like have a specific purpose. And we feel what we feel and think what we think. And everyone does that. You are not the only one.

I'm not really good at talking about myself. I can write about it, but not talk about it. It's been very difficult. Looking into someone's eyes. Being open and vulnerable to your own feeling. That takes courage. BIG TIME. We live in the world that lots of people don't even know how to talk to each other in person. We text, email, Facebook, Tweet, Instgram.... We forgot how to talk to each other. And to have actual conversation about our feelings. It's easy to avoid talking about what we feel, especially when it's something very personal. It's much easier to build a wall, start pretending that everything is ok and you are fine. It's easier not to talk about it. It's easier to switch subject and be a good "listener". It's easier to just not to talk. And when we pile up and up that feeling and keep building up the wall on top of each other, we become numb to our feelings. We stop feeling and facing the real authentic us. When we get to that point, it's so difficult to breakdown that habit and start listening to your own voice. Does that sound familiar to you!? 

Maybe it was because you wanted to belong. Maybe because you felt a pressure from your parents or from your work environment. Maybe because something was simply too much for you to handle.... The reason can be anything, and most of the time, you won't even realize what the reason is any more. You've buried it way way deep down.  Some people have more access to their own feeling than the others. It doesn't mean that you are any different than them. or their life is easier than yours. We all have something we hide. We all have something that we are afraid to talk about. We all feel something every seconds of the day. It's simple. We are alive in this moment. 

Sometimes when things upset you, you might not wanna feel upset. When people want to make you cry, you swallow that feeling and put a smile on your face. When people talk you down, you might just let yourself feel that way and start beating up yourself. Maybe you're feeling something different than what you think you are suppose to feel or you want to feel. When everybody else getting their breaks and you feel like you are not meant to do what you are doing. There are so many feelings that we face everyday. We don't have to put lids on them. We are all human. And those feelings might be the exact things that drive us forward. It is ok for us to feel the way we feel. Let that feeling sink in to you. And we need to start talking about our feelings. When we feel love, express that. When we feel inspired, do something with it. When you feel sad, it's ok to feel sad. When you feel appreciative, do something to pay it forward. We don't have to judge what we are feeling. It's a part of who we are. It's what makes us who we are. And it's what makes us grow as a better person. 

Love,

Inspiration=Genuine Being

Being able to inspire people and to be inspired by people, those are incredibly important part of my life. I want to inspire people. I want to be inspired by people. 

The reason I started this blog is exactly that. I wanted to share my thoughts by sharing what I'm feeling. By showing the raw self. By sharing my strength and weakness. By sharing the inspirations that other people have given me. By spreading Love, Hope and Faith. If anyone can get any spark of inspiration from that, that'll make my day. 

A friend of mine has inspired me in so many different way. We've known each other for less than a year. However, she's affected my life tremendously. She's told me that how much this blog has inspired her, and gave her some strength. Her genuine reaction and response have made me want to do better,and to be a part of that process for more and more people. I don't think that my writing is that great. I don't even know that if most of them make any sense to anyone other than me! But still, I want to share my thoughts with the rest of the world. and if you are reading this, I am truly grateful for that. Seriously, thank you so much for reading this. 

And I believe that any inspirational acts or words must come from genuine place. It has to come from your heart. Not from the idea of how it supposed to sound or look. Not to impress people. Not to show other people how smart, talented, or beautiful you are. That's not gonna do anything. Inspiration happens when people are true to who they are, what they are doing, and what they are saying. They don't have to DO anything. They are just to there. They just need to BE there. Being true can be actually most difficult thing in the world. We all wear some type of mask to conceal our true self. And the more you spend time with that mask, we forget that we're even wearing them. It takes courage to be transparent. It takes efforts. We need to believe that we are good enough. We might have to get rid of the old habits and the belief that you are accustom to. Being true to who you are, being in charge of who you are, being in charge of your happiness... Those aren't the things that makes you selfish or self centered. If anything, the more happy you are and true to who you are, the more kind and generous you are to other people. In order for you to be inspirational, you have to be you. And BE in every moment.  Show up to your life. 

Love,

Day of Love

Love is the source of all energy. 

Love is the power.

 Love is what we are made of. 

Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

How was your Valentine's Day!? Were you able to tell people around you that you love them?! It is so important to tell them that. Again, just like Thanksgiving Day, it doesn't have to be Valentine's Day to tell and show people that you love them. You should do that every day! It is a great reminder for those who forget to do it. For that purpose, I'm all for Valentine's Day. But everyday should be the day of love. We are all here because of this amazing power of Love. Love doesn't have to be for some person or people. Love can be for anything and everything. We love our family, friends, significant others, our pets, our jobs, our life, and this Universe. You might not love everything, but you must love something. The more love you have, the more love you sure, the better your life will get. At least that's what I believe. 

When you response to people with negative and bad attitude, they will most likely give you back exactly what you gave them. And just the same, when you respond and act from the place of love, you will more likely to get positive response. We've all seen it. It is no use to yell back someone because they give you an attitude. By doing that, they will probably yell you back. And you will yell them back, and it keeps going and going.... it's just a bad cycle. Your action should always come from the place of love. Even though we cannot do it all the time, we should try to do that anyway. 

My mom knew it. Looking back now, it was very unusual for my culture to show affection. But she always told my dad "I love you", every morning before he left for work. "You never know what's gonna happen. If that's the last word I get to say, I want him to know that I love him from the bottom of my heart." Isn't that fantastic?! She loves him so much. And she loves us so much. 

And I want to tell you all that I love you too. I want my life to be filled with love. not with anger or hatred. There are so many things that could get to us. Will you!? that's the point. those things and people will become your problem, if you let them. No matter what it is or who it is, show them love. Love conquers all. And that's why I want my life to be filled with love. 

Love,

We are all in this together

We don't realize how a few word can make someone's day. Very simple things like "thank you" or "You did great today!" That can change or help someone's mentality in such way. People often neglect to acknowledge other people. Most of the time because we are too busy taking care of ourselves. Start paying attention to those things that people do for you. It doesn't have to be anything huge. Again, we all have our own issues and lives to focus on. But we need to remind ourselves that we don't and can't live only on ourselves. There's no way. Either consciously or not, directly or not, we are all in this Universe together. None of us will exist on our own. 

Being able to realize that can give us such strength and power. The fact that someone has been watching you. They saw that you are doing what you can to make your life better and to improve yourself. More often that enough, we criticize ourselves and beat up ourselves for not meeting our expectations. We think we are not good enough, or not doing enough. We think that we are not we should be. We are often our own worst enemy. And even though we try to avoid that as much as possible, still we end up doing that again. So, when someone acknowledge you and give you compliment, or credit, we need to learn how to accept that. Say "Thank you" genuinely, and give yourself some credits that in fact you have been working hard. 

To learn how to be the best supporter for yourself is part of our journey. Even those who seem confident, or who seems like they have it all, they still have bad days. We just don't know their story. We imagine that they don't have any problem from what we see. But every single person in this world has their own problem and dilemma that they are facing. Nobody's life is perfect. We learn to coop with them. We learn how to embrace our life with all those. So, we are all in this together.We are all the same. So, be a good supporter for each other. When you see someone doing good, or doing nice to other people, acknowledge that. It doesn't have to be fancy. It might make their day. And they might make your day one day in the same way you did. Love is the strongest and greatest source of energy. Fill your life with love. It makes it more meaningful. 

Love,

Unique

I've been blessed to have such amazing people around me. Words cannot describe how amazing these people are. Everybody is so great in their own way. Everybody is so beautiful in their own way. It truly is fascinating how we are all different and specific. There's nobody that's exactly like you. There might be someone similar to you. Maybe you like exact same thing, but still you are different from that person. Oscar Wilde says "Be yourself. Everybody else is already taken". Being able to accept and embrace who you truly are is one step. And the next step is to be able to share the person with the rest of the world. You cannot be amazing person and not share that gift with the rest.

Before I moved to NYC, people have told me that New Yorkers are very cold and they will not care about you. I disagree with that. Sure, most of people are not even from NY. But, I've met so many wonderful people ever since I got here. They can be preoccupied with whatever they are dealing with. But, I feel that these people are more honest and real about who they are. Or at least they are working on becoming who they want to be. The only reason that they might seem "cold" is that sometimes just they really need to focus on their own problems or issues that they are facing. That's it. They are living real life. Life in NY is not easy. People don't say "If you can make it NY, you can make it anywhere" for no reason. It's tough. Nobody said it's going to be easy. You have to overcome whatever you are facing. To be able to face that is already a blessing. Because that means that you are strong enough to face that, and you are about to face the blessing you've been waiting for. It's difficult that when you've been in that situation for long time. You've been asking to get saved, or to get out of that situation, or to get the one break you've been waiting for ages.... You start thinking that maybe your time will never come. Stop listening to the voice. Those thoughts are there to test your faith. You have to be stronger. You have that power.

To talk about who I am or how I feel was not my strength. It's still not. But, they have made me feel that it's ok to talk about how I feel or who I am. It s ok to talk about my flaw. It's not complaining. It's actually is important to share those feelings with others. That's a bravery, courage, and strength. You are not hiding from who you are or what you are feeling. You start accepting the situations. You start being honest with who you are. that's something to celebrate! Life has to be celebrated. And we can do that anytime! It's not only when we have some breakthrough, or when we get promoted or when we hit the lottery. As a matter of fact we should celebrate for being who you are every single moment of out life.

It's amazing how you are different from everybody else. And everybody is so beautiful. There's absolutely no doubt about that. Enjoy the differences. Enjoy the uniqueness.

“If you were lucky enough to be different, don't ever change”

― Taylor Swift

Love,