Sometimes, we need to let it kicked.

“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” 
― Seneca

This is something that I really want to get it through my head lately. "Really listen to what you are saying to other people". Seriously. I preach all these things about positive mindset and how we can shift our life into more empowering way. But the reality is that I get in my head more than I can possibly imagine. If anything, I am in my head probably more than all of you. So, I do admit this. And I admit this publicly and openly. I DON'T LISTEN TO MY OWN WORDS. Meaning, it's time to start listening!!! Well, it's easier said than done, just like everything else. 

A friend of mine, who inspire me so much, told me this yesterday. "Sometimes you just gotta remove yourself from your own head, then put it back". We've heard it before. People say "Be your own best friend". "Don't get in to your head too much". "Focus on right now".... And it's all good and makes so much sense intellectually. But if we can do that just by saying "Ok, that's what I'm going to do now".... how simple would that be? Life would be so much easier, don't you think? Instead, that talk actually makes us go into our head even more, especially those of us who LOVE to analyze things. We want to do it "right". We want to do it "Good". Or if we know that we don't do it "right", we don't wanna do it. So, my friend told me to really take time. Take time to talk to myself just as you're talking to your 5 year old self, or your best friend. We wouldn't talk to your best friend the same way we talk to ourselves. If we do, we might not have any friends at all. lol. It is ok to say, "hey, you did good today". or "you are beautiful." or "Don't be hard on yourself so much". It's ok to say that. We actually should say that. 

For the past few days, I have been frustrated by the way things were going. I was crying more. And all the self development nerd part of me would say "Let's flip the perspective". or "You shouldn't be thinking this way". Or "You should be grateful"... And the other part of me would just say "SHUT UP, I DON'T WANNA DO IT. I CAN'T DO IT. I'M JUST GONNA QUIT". All the ideas and my feelings were contradicting each other. The more I think, the worse things got. My friend also said "It's a minute by minute, second by second choices, you just gotta take one step at a time". I've probably heard something like this so many times. But the way she said it last night made so much sense to me. I've been seen her transform. I've seen her grow. She's much younger than me. And because of that, I had the idea of "Oh, I'm the one who SHOULD be teaching her, or be the example".  But no. It doesn't matter. Her transformation and growth taught me so much. Her experience and her journey. That's what inspire me. It doesn't matter. I was too stubborn to be open. Sure. I might swing back to that place again. And that's ok too. At least I know that I did swing back, and I know how to. It doesn't feel that great to be in the full swing, or what seems to be the full swing. That's part of the journey. When that happen, I have to probably come back to my own blog and read it. ACTUALLY READ IT! We are on this journey, everyday. 

Love, Hope, faith

Growing, one day at a time

I feel like I am riding a roller coaster. The emotional ride that I have been on for the past few weeks, or almost a month, that has been a crazy ride. Why? because I am stretching. Because I am really looking at myself. And that is absolutely scary. Accepting the truth. Accepting my weakness and strength.. all that is a completely new territory. I want to start by this topic. "Receiving support."

Receiving support has not been something that comes to me naturally. I felt weird asking for help. I made me feel weak, incompetent, not enough... It made me feel like I was bothering people. That they have enough thing to deal with.... This is a huge lesson that I am learning. Seriously. It is OK to lean in to people. It is absolutely OK. 

As I stepped more into the life with Yoga and holistic journey, I decided that Acting was no longer my focus. I thought that if I want to come back, I can always go back. Acting is not going anywhere. Entertainment business is not going anywhere. So, I left my acting studio. I updated my website, then I let go of my title as an "Actor". I still love singing, and am still in the chorus. So, my friend and I decided to produce a cabaret show because we wanted to sing together. That on its own was a learning experience. I sang for fun. My intention was to have fun and tell the story. I didn't have to prove anything, like I used to at the audition. The next day, a friend who was in the cabaret show texted me. "Have you looked into the FB post lately? That might make your day". I looked it up, and almost dropped my phone. The Cabaret team was formed by the member of this community called "CREATE", the spiritual community for actors. The owner of the community, saw my performance video then made a post on the FB community. "I didn't know that she sings. And Miss Saigon is my favorite show! I'm gonna talk to the casting". WhAT? And there were hundreds of people commenting on this post. Supporting me, cheering me, liking the post. It was absolutely overwhelming. I was excited, but more overwhelmed, couldn't really process yet. 

Day 2... I saw a FB notification that she tagged me in another post. I wasn't sure if I wanted to look at it or not. "Are you sitting down? I just got off the phone call with the casting. it was about good 10-15 min. they want to "explore" you. "....... Soon after, I received a text from her asking for my headshot and resume. At this point, my legs were shaking. I wasn't breathing right. I was really freaking out. Notifications were going crazier than before. I couldn't look at my phone for good 3, 4 hours. What is going on? What is happening? This is too good to be true. This is not happening... All those thoughts came up. I didn't know what or how to think anything. But I sent her what I had. She texted me back. "Stand by".... 

Day 3... I was still overwhelmed. But now enormous amount of fear and guilt were pouring in. I felt like I was the biggest fraud. I haven't even auditioned for this. I can't do it. I don't deserve this.. what if I don't book? I would disappoint everybody. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to face it.  And I haven't even gotten an audition. But my head was already going crazy. Around 11 am, I checked email, then there was an email from the casting, titled "Miss Saigon/October 18"..... once again, I almost dropped my phone. I was asked to prepare for the female ensemble, an audition with the producer, music director, choreographer, casting... for my DREAM SHOW. The exact reason that I moved to NYC. That just happened to me. My heart was pounding like crazy. 

Day 4... The material I got was for a female ensemble. I realized that because I wanted to be the lead and only the lead, I don't know anything about the rest of the materials. As I learned the material, I realized the depth of this show. The contrast between the lead and the rest of the character was such a significant part of the show. That's what made everything so interesting. yet, I wasn't able to see that. I was fascinated by the new aspect of this show. The biggest challenge is the voice range. I was not trained as a soprano. And the material required me to sing HIGH C. I knew that I can hit the note. It just sounded like I was making a sound, the squeaky sound. My friend who believes in me and my voice more than anyone, (other than my mom) got me to get coaching session. Then more came in. The FB community reached out to me. A girl, who I've never met, offered to gift me a session with her coach who happened to be the accompanist for the day of the audition. The owner, the one who got me an audition, also gifted me a coaching session with one of the most high demand vocal coach. The funny thing was that I happened to know who he was. Right after I moved to the city, I went to a panel discussion where he was one of the panel. I remember contacting him after that, only to find out I couldn't afford the session with him. And now, that session was gifted to me. I didn't know how to receive all that. Everything was happening, all that I needed was right there. The universe was literally testing me if I can learn how to receive. So, I took them. I took all the help that was offered to me. I did all the coaching lessons. I even asked my friend to support me with dance, just in case I was asked to stay for dance. I put my 100%. Working with Stephanie made me realize that I could sing that hight C. I could sing that high and Im ok. The coaching session with Brad gave me all the information that I didn't even realize before. Drew told me that I can control my voice if I know how to. Deric taught me that I can sing more effortlessly if I learn how to. Karen told me that I am good enough. I AM goOD ENOUGH. Chris taught me how I can have lean into the support. I was being supported like a baby. And that was such an unfamiliar feeling. 

The DAY OF AUDITIOn..... In the morning, I was excited and nervous. But something inside told me to really take a look at all the posts and comments that I have received through FB or text. So, I took time to read them. I felt like I was actually hearing their voices, that I was being supported, that I can lean in and lean back, that I don't have to do this alone. So that's what I did. I allowed myself to be there. Then funny enough, my nerve shifted into a pure excitement. It was grounded and powerful. The feeling that I never did before auditioning. As I got there, I was very calm. I didn't have the competitive "she's perfect for this show" feeling towards other people didn't exist. When I got called into the room, the nerve did kick in. Of course. But I did it. I was able to hit the High C. I was able to "Breathe in roses, and exhale love". Then they asked me to stay for a dance. I am not a trained dancer. But I gave my all. It was different from what we prepared for, but it didn't matter. I gave it all. I was obsessed with the joy and excitement that I felt. It was fun. It was so much fun. I never knew that auditioning can be this fun till right then. All of us were released that day, so who knows? And the best part is that I am happy with either way. 

This whole experience has taught me about receiving, trusting and leaning in. It was such an incredible lesson. I am so grateful for this. I am good enough. I have what it takes. The pendulum will swing back time to time. and that's ok. I am here. And I did hit the damn high C. So, I am happy. I am happy that I allowed myself to be there with others. I allowed myself to take in the support. Life is a strange place. We never know what's gonna happen. That's the beauty of it. I am so grateful for the support from everybody. So grateful for the lesson that I got to learn. I am so grateful that I showed up for myself and got to have fun. I don't have to do it alone. I don't have to be alone. I am enough. 

Thank you for being you. Thank you for leaning on me. thank you for allowing me to lean on you. Thank you for everything. One thing at a time. One lesson at a time. it is ok. Everything is ok. 

Love, hope, and faith..

to infinity and beyond!

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” 
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Right now, I am being challenged like I've never before. I have to completely be honest with myself, face the reality, accept the current truth and step out f that. And it is truly terrifying. As Marianne Williamson says, "doing something new is not difficult, it's just different. Getting over the resistance is difficult." And even as we speak, I am still in resistance. What can I do? The answer is simple. GET OVER MYSELF!!! It is so easy said than done. Absolutely. I am seeing the major commitment right now. I made goals for myself and yet, I am still doing the same thing. Again, the definition of insane is that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the different result. Of course! It truly is time for a change. I need to change. I want to change! I WANT TO CHANGE.

So, there. I declared it. The very first key to anything is to decide that that's what you want and owing that. A lot of people might think that knowing why or how you're gonna get to XYZ, that's the first step. I think, deciding what you want it the very first step. If you don't know what you want, you can't really do anything. When you go to the restaurant, you can't order anything till you know what you want! Right? First, you have to decide that. Then you order exactly what you want. You don't ask for a pizza when you want a burger. If you want a cheese pizza, you don't just say I want pizza, you're going to say you want a cheese pizza. So be specific about what you want and ask for it. If you know exactly what you want, you just don't say you want food. That's just too vague. Be clear and know what you want. Then, what do you do after you order? Trust. Sure, they might make mistakes in your order, everybody makes mistakes. But at the end of the day, you do get what you order and we know that. You don't pace around and say, maybe they will bring me a chocolate cake instead, which might be amazing. But you know what you ordered and you know that it's coming. So, why don't we apply this to the other area in our lives? Decide what you want in detail. Know that that's what you want. Ask exactly what you want. Trust that it's gonna be there and let it go. The great thing about this in other area is that you might actually get something better than what you ask for. You might not get how you want, when you want. But it will be that or something better. 

"How" will turn out on its own. Trusting and knowing are the hard part. Then taking action. Live through your commitment. That's something that we are not used to. At least I am not in few areas of my life. Even in the area I thought I was good at, I still am not. I want to make things happen more. I want to go farther. I want my life to expand in love, success and abundance. I want everyone's life to be the same. So I am declaring that the I am changing the way of my life now. I am going to commit. I am going to jump into unknown. I am going to trust that what I want or something better will come to me. I am being bold enough and ask what I want loud and clear. So that I can have empowered life.  Jumping into unknown. Let's do this. 

love,

Life as we know it, can change any time.

“Do you wait for things to happen, or do you make them happen yourself? 

I believe in writing your own story.” 
― Charlotte Eriksson

I want to share a lot nowadays. I think it's because of the transition that I have been going through. It was been an incredible journey and I cannot even describe how grateful I am for every single one of the event and people who came into my life.

I didn't want to be the person who'd talk about myself all the time. I thought it was selfish, self observed, and inconsiderate. It took a lot for me to start talking about myself. Yet, what I have been learning lately, has completely messed up what I believed to be true, and what I thought it was the right way to be. Life is crazy, I'm telling you. It's amazing how things can change. It's amazing how things that I couldn't even possibly imagine could be my passion and my dream. I am one of those people who use "divine", "magical", and "miracle" in normal sentences. It's incredible. Now, I am really starting to show my messiness, insecurities, and every part of me. How was I able to do that? or to even get started? Only because I have a group of incredible people in my life. I know that none of these were possible if it weren't for them. They taught me it's ok to be mess. It's ok to share your weakness and emotion, frustrations and all that. It's ok to rely on people and ask for help. It's ok to just be crazy and start singing and dancing. It's ok to be goofy and have fun in yoga class. It's ok to be me and not expect anything. It's ok to ask questions and let them know that I don't know. It's ok to show up with no make up and cry my eyes off. It's ok to be vulnerable. It's ok to own my power. It is ok to be me and do what makes me happy.

I didn't know that I love people so much. I want to connect with people, talk to people and love people for who they are. I want people to know how beautiful they are both inside and out. I want people to know how magical they are, (there, I said it! "magical"). I want people to know that it's OK to own their power and be who they are. I want people to know that it is their birth right to take care of themselves. I want people to know that the fact that they are here proves that they are worthy. I want people to know that they are here for reasons. I want people to know that they are loved. ahhhh. There are so many things that I want to share with people. And I LOVE LOVE, LOVE people so much. It almost feels like a rebound effect, because before, I wasn't like that. I never shared about me. I didn't wanna be vulnerable. I absolutely couldn't look at people in the eyes. I always deflected. I was afraid that people would judge me. I had no confidence in me. I was good at pretending, or presenting to others that I was. But when it comes down to it, I was horrified to be around people. So now that I am learning all these amazing path and tools, the love for the people is flushing in like I just opened the floodgate.

It's so much easier to be in the light, when I am excited and filled with joy and gratitude. It's so difficult when I'm just feeling nothing like that. I get in to my head a lot more than I should. The other day my friend told me not to, and just let go and talk whatever that comes up in my head. I am so grateful to have friends like that. Because of them I get to swing back from that side. I think it is about learning how to swing back every time when I go down the hill. The same way apply when I am super high in love. Sometimes I just can't get myself together because I am so energetic and excited... feels like a kid with sugar rush. And I learn how to get grounded in times like that. It's about balance. It's about inclusive and duality. I don't always have to categorize or know if that 0 or 1. I can tell people "I don't know". and ask questions and not feel stupid or ashamed.

Life as we know, can change any time if we want to. I wanted to change my life. I wanted to be more me. I wanted to be more free. And right now, I have tons of questions, things that I don't know, things that I get upset over... It is ok to be mess and share that with the world. As a matter of fact, we should, so that we can learn from each other. Be you. Be courageous. Be curious. Be love.

I love you.

Love, Hope, Faith...

Born again.

“Those who have failed to work toward the truth have missed the purpose of living.” 
― Gautama Buddha

Last weekend, I had one of the most amazing experience I've  ver had. It taught me so much about me, my belief and my power. It was a breakthrough. It gave me a whole new vision. 

Life is a roller coaster, there's no doubt about that. We have a good day and a bad day. We have an ok day and not so ok day. And yet, it's like the pendulum, it swings back and forth. It comes back to neutral eventually. I love that. And overall, it is in a perfect harmony. The Universe is in a perfect balance as we speak. We just don't see it that way. We hear things and see things that's not present, most of the news that we see on the TV is devastating. People killing each other, destroying this Earth, creating more problems... And those who are aware of these issues, keep fighting for it. People are speaking up, initiating the movement, preaching people to raise up and be a family. Because we are a family. No matter who you are or where you are, we are all family in this Universe. And it is sad that most people don't see it that way. I love how Marianne Williamson explain about us. Each of us are a cell in the body, that's forming the Universe. We are all assigned to different subject. You are assigned for art, maybe you are assigned for politics, maybe you are assigned for animals.... whatever that assignment you got, that is only for you. I cannot fulfill that for you, nor you can do mine. We all have our individual assignment. But we think we know better. We think we can figure out what we are suppose to do. We are all a part of big picture and if we can all fulfill our own assignment, then and ONLY then, the Universe will be a "Perfect" place. Can we make it happen in our life time? Most likely not. Because we are so obsessed by our ego and what we think that's best for us, without realizing what our true purpose is. We already have one. We don't need to go look for it outside. We need to look inside of us. Like the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy had the power to go back to Kansas all along, but she needed to figure it out on her own. She needed to know that she had that power. She needed to know that she was the key to her own destiny. We need to do that for ourselves. We need to know that we are the key to the great future, we are the ingredient for happiness, that we are the magic that we've been looking for. 

I realized that I have been hiding and spending so much time and energy on things that doesn't really matter. I was afraid of what other people think of me. I was afraid of whether if people will like me or not. I was afraid that if I am not doing it wrong... And over the course of weekend, it made me truly realize that it was all transparent. People can see through you. People can see right through you and tell you that you are afraid, that you are worried, that you are hurt. Of course they won't know the details, but people can feel the disconnect, the guard that you put up, the mask you put on. Those are transparent. So why spend so much time on things that's so obvious? Why spend so much time trying to NOT connect with what's important? 

I believe connecting to people in the most authentic way, being truly who I am, being honest to my weakness and vulnerability, paying attention to what's going on inside me, those are so much more important than what I have been doing. 

Another thing that I really loved was this, "being powerful means being able to empower others". This changed my world. Oprah is powerful, Obama is powerful, Gandhi is powerful, MLK is powerful, Maya Angelou is powerful... YOU are powerful. I am powerful. We are all powerful in our own unique way. We are all responsible for our own power. Own that power and be proud of it. It is different from being arrogant or self righteous. It means you are so sure of yourself and your purpose,  what you think of yourself and what others think of yourself don't even matter. Because you are truly in alignment with your purpose, and with serving that purpose for the rest of the world. 

Be you. Be Unapologetically you. You deserve it. Every single ounce of you matter. Your voice matters. You matter. And there's absolutely no mistake you are here for a reason. Right here, right now. 

Love, Hope, Faith

Perfect, NO. Committed? Absolutely. - the lesson I learned from the challenge, ROUND 1 -

“The key to life is accepting challenges. Once someone stops doing this, he's dead.” 
― Bette Davis -

A little while ago, I gave myself a challenge.  A challenge called ABC for "I AM ME". I have been working on this project called "I AM ME" Project. Doing that, made me realize how much I love talking to people, connecting with people, and also don't really know about myself. I've written here so many times that I am good at writing about myself but not talking about myself. Now this comes to the point that I cannot make any excuse for myself. Well, rather, it came to the point that I didn't want to make any excuse for myself. I wasn't sure what I was doing. It's just that I was called to do this project. I was called to reach out to people and go beyond what I was already comfortable. 

So, let's talk about ABC for "I AM ME". It's a very simple challenge. I post up video of me talk about any topic based on a word, or two, starting with that letter. For example, the very first day, the letter was A and I talked about authenticity. It was "LIVE" but not really. I put my FB setting for "ONLY ME" and did few practice rounds. Once I was done, I did post it up. In the beginning, I wanted to do it good. I wanted to make the best video. I was excited. I thought I was gonna talk about all these amazing thing about being me, and all that. I didn't know why I was doing it, or what I was doing it for. But I knew that I was suppose to do it. A lot of actors can agree with me on this, once you have the permission, like given a script, or given a direction, then we can go there. We can do however big or crazy or angry or anything they want us to be. But when there's no script and no direction? We have to give ourselves a permission to do what we want to do. More often than not, we don't. Because we tend to think that who we are, is not good enough. In order for others to tell us it was good, it was necessary for us to stay in the box, meet their expectation, be who THEY want us to be, or who we THINK they want us to be. Or we would be mimicking someone else and we have no idea. Because we are not use to giving ourselves the permission. It is the expectation that WE put on ourselves. It's the FEAR in disguise. I realized that I had expectation for myself, more than I imagined. I wanted those videos to be good, the message to be clear, and the viewers to LIKE them. Ha. Full of expectation. I wanted to make myself look good, obviously. 

And in the middle of that challenge. I decided to actually GO LIVE. I was nervous. Really nervous. Damn notifications that pops up on the bottom screen made me even more self conscious. How many people are watching? How many people are leaving? Is anybody commenting? Then, a friend pointed out. "STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO THE NOTIFICATION". BOOM! I wasn't speaking for myself. I wasn't being clear about my vision or intention or any of that. I was there and I wasn't there at all. So, I stopped looking the notification and decide to stare at myself, which is terrifying by the way. You know what they say when people tell you to do the mirror exercise. "YOU can't lie to yourself, while you are looking at yourself in the mirror." It was almost torture for the first few minutes. Then once I was in the zone, speaking from a deeper place, The nerve started to go away. It wasn't the same nerve any more. It turned into excitement. I turned into something deeper. It went into my WHY. Why I am doing any of this. Why I wanted to start this in the first place. WHY I want to keep talking about my mission and purpose. I couldn't be more grateful for his advice. Thank you. 

Yesterday, it was the letter Z. I actually had to look up what are the words that starts with Z other than zero and zebra. They say it takes 21 days to start forming a new habit. I noticed that I wasn't afraid of talking about myself, at least less than before anyways. I wasn't so stressed about looking at myself any more. I am starting to talk like me, or finding out the way to talk without imitating other people. OMG, I know that without even realizing, I was trying to sound like my teachers, Marie Forleo, Marriane Williamson, Gabby Bernstein... and NOPE! that wasn't happening. I felt like I got the glimpse of talking as who I am and have FUN though. And it was liberating. So, what I took out from this was this. 

1) We have a choice to give ourself a permission to be who we are. 

2) It takes practice to find your way. Experiment. Imitate. Have Fun. Then you find your way. 

3) If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT. 

4) This is only a beginning. 

5) Be in the moment and truly focus on what's right in front of you. 

I am going to keep doing the challenge, putting myself more on tape. Explore more area of where I am truly not being me yet. I am gonna expand my comfort zone. I am gonna have fun. I am gonna be in the moment.  I am not going to apologize for who I am. And I am gonna commit to it. 

Stay tune for what's more to come. 

"I AM ME" Unapologetically. 

Love, Hope, Faith

No! I know exactly what I want, when I want and how I want!

“You cannot fulfil God's purposes for your life while focusing on your own plans. ” 

― Rick Warren

Let go of the need to control and surrender. That seems to be my theme nowadays. The expectation we put on ourselves can drive us crazy big time. So why do we d that? 

We don't like to think that we are not in control of what's going on around us. When we want something, we know exactly WHAT we want, WHEN we want, and HOW we want. Right? And because we know EXACTLY that, when things go out the way, we get upset. Why isn't it happening? Why isn't it happening the way I want it? Why? Why? WHY?????? The truth is.... we are never in control. What we are in control of is the way we see it, what to see it and how we react to it. We cannot control what/when/how we get anything. It just is not how the Universe works. And we have to accept the fact that whatever it is happening just right now, that's exactly what we need right where you are. NOT what you want, but what you need. We've probably heard that before right? 

So, let me share my story. Up until few days ago, I was really frustrated. My business wasn't going the way I want it to be. I wasn't getting enough result from the clients or the prospect. Especially because of the summer people are out of town, out and about... basically it was really hard to get hold of people. Also, once I get hold of them, the conversation didn't really go the way I wanted them to be. So, I got frustrated. REALLY frustrated. Because I had expectations for myself. I wanted to hit the certain number by this particular day. That didn't happen. I didn't see it happening. Was I doing everything I can? Maybe not, but I thought I was trying hard, at least. But when people weren't responding the way I wanted them to, that was devastating. I wanted to see the result. I wanted to see the numbers. So that I can validate myself that I was doing the right thing. Then my mentor asked me this. "What is it that about yourself that's reflecting your current situation?" Wow. that hit me like a rock. 

1) I was making "TIME and MONEY" as excuses. : When you REALLY want something, you will MAKE time. "The RIGHT time", that doesn't exist. You will figure out the way to come up with the money. So, those aren't actually the issues. It's your commitment to yourself. 

2) I was not committing to myself. : What is my priority? Was my day job priority? Was returning that email my priority? Making a commitment to yourself is THE most difficult thing, in my opinion. It takes persistence, dignity and focus. How many times have you said, "I'm cutting sugar!" or "I'm gonna go to the gym 4 times a week" or "I'm gonna lose 10lbs by this day"? And how did that go? Don't cheat yourself out. Don't rob yourself from owning your own power. You have to really WANT it. And you have to be willing to sacrifice. You have to be willing to say, NO, this TV show can wait. Of course we all have good days and bad days. So, when that bad day happen, you don't have to quit. Acknowledge that you fell off the wagon and get back on it. In order for us to build anything, whether build muscle or habit, we have to get back up when we fall. that's the only way to build. The more you get back up, the stronger foundation you'll make. So don't rob yourself from building that strong foundation. 

3) I was expecting so much from other people. : Again, this life that we live in, we cannot control what's going on in the world. I am my own journey, and you are on YOUR journey. It is not for me to say, "YOU HAVE to do such and such for me so that I can have XYZ." That's not fair to you at all. We don't get to treat people that way. All we can do is be responsible for our own part. Trust that the Universe will take care of you. Not the way you want it to be. But exactly the way you need to move on to that next stage. 

So, what is it about YOUR current reality that you're reflecting on? We can want certain results. We can hope for certain goal. But it's not for us to decide whether we're gonna get it or not. It's so much easier said than done. This could be a life theme for a lot of us. Know that the Universe has your back, not only intellectually, but on the cellular level. Start seeing things from the different perspective? What can I learn from this? What is that I am missing? how can I serve in this situation? How would I see it different if I choose to see the situation from the place of love and compassion? 

You are not alone in this. We can support each other, by sharing what's going on on your mind, your current situation, or the struggle you're going through, or the lessons that you found.... We can all learn something from each other. The exact test you're going through, somebody might be going through as well. So, don't be afraid to reach out to people. Build the muscle to see things differently and trust. And know that the Universe has got your back! 

Love, Hope, Faith