This year is going to be a completely different year and I can feel it. I have been feeling it that way since the end of last year. My life has flipped upside down in last 6 months or so. I look at myself and wanna say, what the F?!
I have been immersing myself to personal development. It feels like a personal development on steroids. I have been discovering a lot of limiting beliefs. Some of them are crazy. Then I am willing to shift those and move on to the next level. The issue with me is that I am good at doing all these inside work. I can read books, do all these workshops, watch and listen audios all I want. These are my thing. Taking the action and living it that way..... that's when I have a hard time. How am I going to do this?! I get scared. No, TERRIFIED. I get terrified to go outside and take an action. I have started doing it slowly, that's for sure. And even in that short and slow pace of progress that I made, the results are beyond my imagination. To think that this much have changed with that small shift.. imagine what could happen if I really take action? Holding myself accountable is definitely something that I get to work on this year.
The great thing about the reflections and works that I have been doing all this month is that I am more in connection with the Universe. I see that more messages and lessons are in alignment with each other. The same messages showing up in multiple ways. Different people bringing up the same conversation. People showing up in my life.... The way my perspective has shift... it's just there.
I want to be more vocal about my beliefs and desires from now on. So here I go.
With everything that's happening here in US, I just want to say this. Asian people. Wake up. Stop hiding behind all this. The main focus maybe about Black, Muslims, Caucasians... but no. We are a part of that. We are a part of this Universe and the country. Don't hide behind all these. We can't just pretend that we are not a part of it. I am going to stand up and speak for myself. We are somewhat socially accepted compare to other minorities. I watched SAG AWARDS last night. It was amazing to see all these diversed people. But where was Asian people? Except for the Steven Yuen? Don't hide behind the stereo types. Was I the only one still holding grudge against Emma Stone?! Don't just accept it and say it's politics. If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. And I have been a part of the problem all my life. And I want to make the differences.
We need to speak up. I want the world to realize that we all matter. Not only some people, but everyone matters. EVERYONE matters. Start showing up for yourself. Start taking responsibilities for your actions. Start accepting yourself for who you are, loving yourself for who you are. You are so loved. You are so love. And I love you for that. Don't get discouraged for not seeing the result. But celebrate the actions you take. I want to do that for myself, not just talking about it. But doing it. I am here to. I matter. My voice matters. Just like you. Don't ever silence your own voice. You get to go.
If you preach that every life matter, if you preach that we all bleed the same, don't build walls. Break the walls. Don't be afraid of what you don't see. Be open to learn more. Be willing to ask questions about what you don't know. And don't turn away from seeing things for what is. Because taking that responsibility is huge. It takes actions and It comes with consequences. I am terrified of all the things that I have been avoiding till now. I have been terrified of what other people might say or think of me. And I still am. And yet, if I don't change myself, if I don't start taking responsibility for my life and the way I see things, I am still a part of the problem. I can start with me. Everyday, I have been listening to India Arie's "I choose". Because that's true. I choose to be the best of I can be. My past don't dictate who I am. I choose. Thank you for the music. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the light. I am here. And I can only start with me. I am not responsible for you. I can only be responsible for myself.
God loves me for who I am and I can only show up for myself. I don't know how I'll be feeling 15 minutes from now, but at this moment. this is what I feel.
I love you.
