"I AM ME". That's my journey.

Truth... Change is inevitable. I am feeling that more than ever. As a matter of fact, change might be the only thing that is for sure. We constantly change whether we like it or not.

What I am going through is this... The biggest challenge for me is that saying X and doing X. I know that I am good at putting a good face. I know that from the outside, I might look like I am doing 100 million things and being busy and following my dream, quote and quote. And the reality is... different. I am good at preparing for the work. I am good at studying or doing the research, and taking action... that's a whole new story. I realized that I have been "doing it" for the longest time. I have been playing small. I have been playing safe. People have been telling me that I am good at doing this or that. (i.e. taking headshot, or talking to people or doing so many other things). I have come to the point that I made up so much BS that I started believing that. But who am I kidding? I know better than anyone that I am not doing it. I know that I haven't pushing myself to the most. I told some people that I am standing on the ledge. My feet half way out.  I am leaning forward. But I haven't jumped off. I am terrified of jumping off. I haven't trusted the Universe fully. And even that, because I am leaning forward, people think that I am jumping. They haven't seen me jump yet. They think that I am. Have I???

My mentor inspires me so much. She is the reason that I went on this path. At least, she showed me the way. And for that I am forever grateful for that. She lives in that. She lives in the change. She lives in action. She lives in authenticity. She lives in vulnerability. She lives in connection. I have so much respect for her and I am so grateful for her and the path she led me to.


I want to be comfortable being uncomfortable. I get in the little bubble and think that it's all about me. How would people think of me? How would people perceive me? What if people think that I am so conceited? What if people think I am crazy? I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to look stupid. I didn't want people to shut me down. I didn't want to hear no. I didn't want to feel rejected or worthless. I know that once I do it, it's not that big of a deal. But until I do it, I make it bigger than it is. We do that a lot, don't we? I believe in what I do. "I AM ME" Project, Essential Oils, Yoga, meditations... all the things that gives me love and purpose and connection... I believe in all that. When I don't trust in the Universe enough I go back into my bubble.

I've always loved singing. Singing was one thing that kept me going. Even though I knew that it is a form of art, I always felt somewhat doing it to make myself feel better. I got the attention. I got compliments. I got what I needed to make me feel better. And the other day, I finally saw that the music is truly a gift. I knew that the message needed to be shared. I knew that what I was singing could inspire people. I knew that I needed to sing that song. I knew that I WANTED to sing that song.

I am on a selfish journey. I wanna soar. I wanna fly. I wanna be me. And I want to get out of my shell. I want to connect. I want to live.

A friend asked me, "Are you trying to prove yourself that you can't do it?"

The self-sabotaging journey that I have been on. I want to stop that now. I want to walk the talk. I want to live what I preach. I want to be more. I want to be me. "I AM ME". So help me walk this journey. Help me live this life. Help me be who I really am.

I love you.

love, hope fatih

What’s going on? 

Everything seems to be falling apart. The election? The Country? The people? and my life? 

People say all kinds of things. "Before all the breakthrough, there’s always a breakdown.” “There’s no mistakes, because whatever the decisions we made, we thought that was the best decision at that exact moment”. Knowing and understanding are different. We see what we see, depending on how we see. No two people see the situation the same. What I see and what you see are different. What I feel based on A is different than what you feel based on A. So, we do what we think is the best at that moment. 

I don’t understand why people voted for Trump. I really don’t. As an immigrant, as a non-us citizen, as a woman of color and a minority, I have nothing to stand for him. What he is this. what he is is the ultimate example of what we could become if we let shadows take us over. He is the representation of 7 deadly sins. Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, and sloth……. God is showing us how we could be if we let ourselves go. God is giving us the greatest opportunity to step into our light. Step into our love. Step in to our greatest potential. That we get to heal. That we get to love. We get to lean in and support each other. We get to love and be loved. We get to shine our light. We are allowed to grieve. It is a part of process. It is necessary to let ourselves actually go through that emotions, rather than pressing it down and hanging on to it. We need to let it go. And after all that, we can finally move on. Move on and step into the light. The light that we were made to be. God wants us to  be the light. God created us as light. We are light. We just forgot that we were. We were so blinded by our earthly possessions like money, or house, or any material objects. But the truth is that we don’t need any of that. We are meant to be prosperous. We are meant to be happy. We are mean to be one. Because there’s actually no separation between you and me. So what I see in you, is exact reflection of myself. I am you, you are me. As a course in miracle says, we are like a drop of ocean or the sun, thinking that we are separate from others. Because we think we are separate, we see things from the place of scarcity. We need to shift. We need ti start seeing things from the place of love, a place of abundance, a place of love and compassion. That’s where we are meant to be. 

Right now, it is ok to mourn. It is ok to be upset. It is ok to be frustrated…. but after all that, we get to let go. We see what’s above all these and will be able to commit to our higher purpose. Our divine creation has been there. 

So, what now? Choose love. Choose compassion. How can we find compassion for those who elected him? How can we find understanding and love while we have completely opposite interest in life? How can we support each other while we stand for something that’s completely contradictory? What can we do? The fact that we are hurting, that means that we care. We care about this country. We care about this family and friends. We care about our future….. That’s why they try to protect. They try to hold on to things that matters to them. They try to hold on to what they have….It’s all the fears. Fears to be separate. Fear to be free. Fear to be loved unconditionally. Fear to be…And that is ok. We get to start from there. We get to move from there. We cannot bring ourselves down to where they are. But we can hold space for them. We can be the light, show them the way and holding the ground for them. We cannot pull them up. They need to do it on their own. So, let’s be the light. Let’s be the love. Let’s thrive. Let’s be one. 

You are divine. Now is a time to unite. Now is time to commit. Now is the time to love and be loved. And there’s no better time than now. Right here, right now. 

It's always the darkest before the dawn

What’s going on? 

Everything seems to be falling apart. The election? The Country? The people? and my life? 

People say all kinds of things. "Before all the breakthrough, there’s always a breakdown.” “There’s no mistakes, because whatever the decisions we made, we thought that was the best decision at that exact moment”. Knowing and understanding are different. We see what we see, depending on how we see. No two people see the situation the same. What I see and what you see are different. What I feel based on A is different than what you feel based on A. So, we do what we think is the best at that moment. 

I don’t understand why people voted for Trump. I really don’t. As an immigrant, as a non-us citizen, as a woman of color and a minority, I have nothing to stand for him. What he is this. what he is is the ultimate example of what we could become if we let shadows take us over. He is the representation of 7 deadly sins. Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, and sloth……. God is showing us how we could be if we let ourselves go. God is giving us the greatest opportunity to step into our light. Step into our love. Step in to our greatest potential. That we get to heal. That we get to love. We get to lean in and support each other. We get to love and be loved. We get to shine our light. We are allowed to grieve. It is a part of process. It is necessary to let ourselves actually go through that emotions, rather than pressing it down and hanging on to it. We need to let it go. And after all that, we can finally move on. Move on and step into the light. The light that we were made to be. God wants us to  be the light. God created us as light. We are light. We just forgot that we were. We were so blinded by our earthly possessions like money, or house, or any material objects. But the truth is that we don’t need any of that. We are meant to be prosperous. We are meant to be happy. We are mean to be one. Because there’s actually no separation between you and me. So what I see in you, is exact reflection of myself. I am you, you are me. As a course in miracle says, we are like a drop of ocean or the sun, thinking that we are separate from others. Because we think we are separate, we see things from the place of scarcity. We need to shift. We need ti start seeing things from the place of love, a place of abundance, a place of love and compassion. That’s where we are meant to be. 

Right now, it is ok to mourn. It is ok to be upset. It is ok to be frustrated…. but after all that, we get to let go. We see what’s above all these and will be able to commit to our higher purpose. Our divine creation has been there. 

So, what now? Choose love. Choose compassion. How can we find compassion for those who elected him? How can we find understanding and love while we have completely opposite interest in life? How can we support each other while we stand for something that’s completely contradictory? What can we do? The fact that we are hurting, that means that we care. We care about this country. We care about this family and friends. We care about our future….. That’s why they try to protect. They try to hold on to things that matters to them. They try to hold on to what they have….It’s all the fears. Fears to be separate. Fear to be free. Fear to be loved unconditionally. Fear to be…And that is ok. We get to start from there. We get to move from there. We cannot bring ourselves down to where they are. But we can hold space for them. We can be the light, show them the way and holding the ground for them. We cannot pull them up. They need to do it on their own. So, let’s be the light. Let’s be the love. Let’s thrive. Let’s be one. 

You are divine. Now is a time to unite. Now is time to commit. Now is the time to love and be loved. And there’s no better time than now. Right here, right now.