journey

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” 
― Ernest Hemingway

Last few days have been a tough ride. An emotional rollercoaster. I am still overwhelmed in a sense. I don't know why. I am overwhelmed and peace at the same time. I am horrified and excited at the same time. Jumping into unknown, that's a challenge. And yet, that's all we do in our life, isn't it? We occasionally think about those "if"s, or the possibilities of how things can be. And those are the things that makes us want certain results, expectations. When we expect something, we become less flexible and open towards what's coming. Because when things don't happen the way we want, we get disappointed. What if we don't expect anything? What if we don't assume that things will happen on our term? What if we don't even think about the future and focus on NOW? What if all we think about is this exact moment? What if we accept the fact that anything is possible. What if we are ok with being one thing and the completely opposite at the same time? What if we don't have to worry about what other people think of you? What if we fully trust that everything will be ok? Can we do all these? I say WHY NOT?

Everyday, I am learning, to be more open, to accept myself more, to breathe more, to be connected and to be human. And the moment we stop being open to the new ideas, we stop growing. We start shutting out what's out there. We cannot forget to be humble. We always have to keep the gratitude. We have to be honest. Being honest is scary. Because it means you show who you are and share that with the rest of the Universe. We make mistakes, take detours and wish we can do over. But we can't. Those makes us unique, compassionate, and human... What we've done is not who we are. what we've learned makes you who you are. and I tell that to myself pretty much everyday. There are things that I wish I could change, and I know that I can't. I cannot take back the past or rewind the clock. I can only move forward and not make the same mistakes. There are still so many things that I am terrified of. And that's the journey. I guess. We live to change. We live to learn. We live to accept. We live in a moment. That's all we can do. 

love, hope, faith

getting lost

“Getting lost is just another way of saying 'going exploring.” 

― Justina Chen, North of Beautiful

Where can you possibly start when you have no idea where to begin? Tons of books said that start from what you like, right? Start by doing what you like and that'll become your passion and your purpose. But what if, what if that isn't the case? What if what you thought your passion or calling isn't the right one? or it doesn't feel right any more? Then what do you do? You've put all the energy, time and money and now you're lost. Then what would you do? Does anyone have an answer to that?

People's path changes all the time. We go one way and by the time you realized, you're completely on a different path. Life takes us to the different direction all the time, whether we like it or not. It's easier to say that just accept it for what it is and move on. It's true, isn't it. "It is what it is. " I might have mentioned this before but I used to hate this phrase. It sounded like calling it quit. It sounded like we have no control over what's going on. Until one day that I realized that it doesn't have to be that way. This phrase only means that we have to accept and embrace the present before we go anywhere. Because without it, we cannot move forward. We ignore what's going on, our feelings, what's right in front of our face so that we can pretend that everything is perfect and we have no problem, that our life is great. We look away from what's really going on underneath and not troubleshooting the REAL problem. That we are afraid. We are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of not fitting in. We are afraid of not making it. We're afraid of success.(seriously)  We are afraid that maybe we're not good enough. We are afraid of judgement. We are afraid of what other people think. We are afraid of what others want you to do. We are afraid of being who we are. So we look away. We continue living out lives pretending that everything is ok. And all those fears pilling up on top of you, we lose sight of who we truly are. Because we are so busy pretending. 

What's the definition of happiness? What does it mean to have it all? What's the definition of success? Does money, fame and status give you happiness? Does having a huge house give you happiness? What does that mean to be living in a moment? 

Everyone's definition will be different. Everyone's path is different. When you get lost, just be. Just breathe and let yourself feel what's happening in your head. Let yourself feel all those feelings. It might scare you. Of course it will. You have been avoiding to feel for god knows how long! Start trying something new. It not easy to admit that you're on a different path from before. You can pretend that your passion is still there and keep going. But eventually, you will have to admit. You will realized that that's not your path. It might be in the same area. It might be completely different. It might be something that you've never thought you'd be doing. The path you took has led you to all these lessons, the people, and the path you are to take on. think about it, without all those events in the path, would you be here now? You might say that you could have gotten here earlier, or you'd have been successful by now, or I should have done this and that... You may be right. You could have been the CEO of that company that you just started building. You could have been the doctor instead of being a med student that you are. You could have been an award winning actor instead of struggling to pay your acting class as you're doing now. But everything happens for a reason. Everything has a cause and an effect. And others might have seen their path just because you were there for them. We are all a piece of this big universe, something bigger than us. And it's important to remember that. When you feel isolated from the rest of the world, that you don't belong anywhere, remember that you belong here. Here in this Universe. 

Love, Hope, Faith