our own happy ending

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”― Theodore Roosevelt

We all know that don't we? We've all been there, check Facebook and Instagram, Twitter, TV... you see all those things and compare yourself with others. The simple questions. "What about me?" "Why they are there, and I'm here?" "What am I doing it wrong?" Those questions will lead you to the self criticism and self destruction. "What is wrong with me?" "Why am I not good enough?" "Am I not smart enough?" "Am I not tall enough?" "Am I not pretty enough?" Then, there are more. "It's a waste of time". "I am not gonna make it anyway, why even try?" "I don't have what it takes." "Why do I even bother?"

So how do we stop ourselves from comparing with others? To tell you the truth, I don't know the exact answer for that. There are literally many many articles and books about those. I just read this article on becoming minimalist. Also, Anthony Meindl said "We are perfectly imperfect". And I do believe that we are aware of those ideas and concept of that. Then why is it so difficult to put that into practice? I mean, it's same with everything, right? It's easy to get that knowledges and concept of what we are suppose to be doing or thinking. Especially when those ideas come in to our lives as a new information, we get excited. We have all the expectations and ideas about how those new ideas and practices can change our life drastically. Just like a magic wand. Poof!!! A miracle happens. Now your life is perfect and you are the guru of this new practice. But let's face it. That's not the case. Hardly ever!! There is no magic wand or a miracle that can change your life over night. We are all we got. 

Accepting and embracing who we are, genuinely who we are, that's what we are here for. That's our journey. Most of us have some type of masks or layers or self defense mechanism that we build up over the years. We mask certain feelings. We hide certain truth. We protect ourselves from getting hurt. And we all want happiness, don't we? We want a nice place to live. A job that you love. A family that loves you. A partner who you love and can count on. A life with happiness. And when you see that what you have is not what you want, that makes us feel like we are not doing things right. I should have listened to mom. I should have finished the school. I should have done the exercise. I should have tried harder... should have, should have, should have.... those are the things that we cannot change. We cannot alter what has already happened in our lives. We cannot go back in time to change that. How we wish we can, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. What we can do is to learn from the past. You didn't listen to your mother, so what did you learn? You didn't finish the school. Ok. Do you want to go back to school? Do you want other type of education for yourself? What did you learn from not finishing the school? Think about that without criticizing yourself. Just ask yourself questions. What do I want? And when you know what you want, think about what you need to do to get there. Knowing what you want is half of the battle. 

You don't know other people's story. Nobody knows your entire story but you. Why do you compare yourself to other people's momentary achievement or highlight. Those are their moments. You have yours. We are all different in specific way so that we can create something together. If we are all the same, imagine how boring this world could be!? I can't tell you to stop comparing yourself to others. All I can tell you is that you are different for a reason, just like I am different for a reason. And we are both perfectly imperfect. It's ok to be weak. It's ok to be sad, mad, crazy, fun... or whatever it is that we are feeling. And it's ok to be not where you want to be and to be where you are. all those detours and stops we've been through have shaped us become who we are, brought us to be with people we love, gave us a gift to be kind and compassionate towards others. We know pain, and that's the only way to learn to be kind to others. We learned what we needed to know to be right here, right now. And that's a part of our journey. And everybody's journey is different. We are together at some part, and we are not for the rest. We learn from each others, not only from what we are good at, but also from our flaws and mistakes. We can learn from anything and anyone. And we won't know the our happy ending until you die. Isn't a story more interesting when it has more conflicts? We are all in this together to write our own happy ending. 

Help whenever you can

“He who sees a need and waits to be asked for help is as unkind as if he had refused it.” 
― Dante Alighieri

We all need help. We know that we can't live alone. Whether you are introverted or not, you still can't live alone. That's just not possible. So, when you can help others, why not help? 

When you think about helping others, what does that mean to you? Helping the person with physical needs, emotional needs, financial needs or even spiritual needs. A single mother who's in need of taking care of her children. A bullied child who needs some emotional support. A friend who just ended the long term relationship and is in need of some time of comfort.... People's needs are different. And when you can help, help them. But don't look for something in return. Don't do it to expect something back. Do it out of love. Do it because it's a right thing to do. Do it because you care about that person. Do it just because you can. Do it just because you want to. And pass it along. 

Do you remember the movie "pay it forward"? just like that. Maybe you can't help someone the way you want to. You can't heal or treat their sickness(unless you are a doctor), you can't pay off their debts and their morgages. You can't revive the person they just lost. And that's ok. Be there for the person in whatever way you can, or give some space, if that's what the person wants. Smile for them. Give them a hug. Listen to what they have to say. Just simply be there for the person. You can't change the circumstances for them. But if you can just be there for them, and by you being there if they could change their mind/attitude towards the circumstances, isn't just worth doing for? Most of their needs are not life changing or life threatening, at least I hope so. We all struggle. We all know what it's like to be in the place. And when we are in that ditch, we ask for help. We ask for anything to get us out of the place. And maybe the whole reason that we all go through those pains and hardships are sot that we can help each others. Only the ones who know the pain understand the pain of others, don't you think? You can be kind to others, because others were nice to you. Or maybe because others weren't nice to you. Don't give up on your temporary circumstances. Don't let others give up on their life either. We are all here for each others. So support each other. Love each other. 

I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they're bad - to change. 'Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses.-Pay It Forward "Trevor McKenney"

Love, Hope, Faith